Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and articles, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep to no more than five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I had a bicycle when I was a child and I rode it almost every day. Riding helped me develop a good sense of balance and gave me pleasant memories of cycling with my parents on weekend afternoons.

提案: Improve grammar, use correct collocations and clearer reasoning. Provide a concise topic sentence, then support it with two specific reasons connected by linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'roads are thick' and finish the thought about cars.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. They are an affordable and convenient form of transport for short trips, and they are widely used because traffic congestion and fuel costs make driving less practical. Moreover, compared with cars, bikes are more environmentally friendly and cause less pollution.

× I had a bicycle when I was.

✓ I had a bicycle when I was a child.

The original sentence omits the completion of the time clause 'when I was a child.' Add 'a child' to complete the clause and correctly express the past time reference. Suggestion: Always complete time clauses (when I was + noun or age) to make sense.

× I love riding bicycle a lot that time because I think riding bicycle in the childhood can train my sense of balance and give me a happy family time.

✓ I loved riding my bicycle a lot at that time because I think riding bicycles in childhood can train my sense of balance and give me happy family time.

Multiple article and noun-form errors: 'riding bicycle' needs an article or possessive (my) or plural 'riding bicycles.' 'That time' should be 'at that time.' 'In the childhood' should be 'in childhood' or 'during my childhood.' Also verb tense should match past reference: 'loved' fits better. Suggestions: use 'my bicycle' for personal possession, use 'at that time' for past periods, and use 'in childhood' (no article) or 'during my childhood.' Consider consistent verb tense with the time reference.

× I love riding bicycle a lot that time because I think riding bicycle in the childhood can train my sense of balance and give me a happy family time.

✓ I loved riding my bicycle a lot at that time because I think riding bicycles in childhood can train my sense of balance and give me happy family time.

The noun 'bicycle' is used inconsistently. When speaking generally about the activity, use the plural 'bicycles' or the gerund phrase 'riding a bicycle.' For a personal experience, 'my bicycle' is appropriate. Suggestion: choose singular with a determiner for specific possession ('my bicycle') or plural for general statements ('riding bicycles').

× I love riding bicycle a lot that time because I think riding bicycle in the childhood can train my sense of balance and give me a happy family time.

✓ I loved riding my bicycle a lot at that time because I think riding bicycles in childhood can train my sense of balance and give me happy family time.

Tense mismatch: 'I love' conflicts with 'that time' (past). Change 'love' to past 'loved' to match the past context. The subordinate clause 'I think riding bicycles in childhood can...' is fine in present since it's a general belief; keep present in that clause. Suggestion: align the main clause tense with the time reference.

× Bicycle is very very common.

✓ Bicycles are very, very common.

The noun 'bicycle' should be plural to make a general statement about the type of vehicle, and the verb must agree (are). Also add a comma after the repeated 'very.' Suggestion: use plural nouns for generalizations and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× It's very common transport in our country as the roads are thick and sometimes the destination are quite far away.

✓ It's a very common form of transport in our country because the roads are congested and sometimes destinations are quite far away.

Missing article: 'very common transport' needs an article and more natural phrasing 'a very common form of transport.' 'As' is okay but 'because' is clearer. 'Roads are thick' is unnatural; likely intended 'congested' or 'crowded.' 'The destination are' has plural agreement error; use 'destinations are.' Suggestion: use 'a' with 'form of transport,' choose appropriate adjective for roads, and ensure plural agreement with 'destinations.'

× But using cars are just so cause a lot of damage to.

✓ But using cars causes a lot of damage.

Subject-verb agreement: the gerund phrase 'using cars' is singular and requires the singular verb 'causes' not 'are.' The original also has an unfinished prepositional phrase 'to' and the filler 'just so' is unnecessary. Suggestion: simplify to 'using cars causes a lot of damage' or 'cars cause a lot of damage' and remove extraneous words.