Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and fluency: remove filler words (umm), correct unnatural phrases ("a professional at a bike"), and make the response concise with a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Mention a specific memory or age to add content. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I received my first bike when I was about eight as a reward for coming first in my class, and I rode it every day. Because of that, I became very confident riding on the road and spent many afternoons exploring my neighborhood with friends.

提案: Reduce hesitation and improve vocabulary precision: avoid repeated fillers, use smoother linking words (for example, "Also" or "Moreover"), and add a brief reason or example to support the claim (e.g., popularity of dockless shared bikes and convenience for short trips). Keep it concise and coherent.

例: Yes, they are very popular, especially in mainland China. Shared dockless bikes are common, and people often scan a QR code to use them, which makes short trips and commuting very convenient in busy cities.

× I've actually been a professional at a bike umm, ever since I got it as a child because I actually, umm, placed first in my class.

✓ I've actually been a professional on a bike ever since I got it as a child because I placed first in my class.

The phrase 'professional at a bike' uses the wrong preposition. Use 'on a bike' to indicate being skilled in riding. Also remove redundant commas and filler words for clarity ('actually, umm' and the second 'actually'). Keep tense consistent (present perfect 'have been' for a continuing state). Suggestion: say 'I've been competitive on a bike' if you mean participating in races.

× So my parents decided to get me a gift, which was my bike.

✓ So my parents decided to get me a gift, which was my bike.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change to verb form is needed. It contains no past participle error. However, you can simplify to 'So my parents bought me a bike.' if you want a more natural phrasing.

× Umm, in mainland China, I've actually seen a lot of individuals, umm, utilize the bike as a means of transport.

✓ Umm, in mainland China, I've actually seen a lot of people use bikes as a means of transport.

'Utilize the bike' is awkward: 'the bike' wrongly uses the definite article implying a specific bike. Use plural 'bikes' or the general noun 'cycling'. Also 'individuals' is formal; 'people' is more natural. Change 'utilize' to 'use' for conversational tone and use base verb 'use' after 'seen' (see + object + bare infinitive). Suggestion: 'I've seen a lot of people use bikes as a means of transport.'

× And there are a lot of bicycles on the road which you can just scan a QR code and you would be able to use it.

✓ And there are a lot of bicycles on the road that you can just scan a QR code to use.

The clause 'which you can just scan a QR code and you would be able to use it' is wordy and has problems: wrong relative pronoun use and redundancy. Use 'that' for essential relative clauses and combine actions 'scan a QR code to use' for clarity. Also change 'it' to refer correctly to 'bicycles' (use plural or restructure). Using 'can' (simple present ability) fits general fact better than 'would be able to'.