Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct minor grammar (e.g., "my dad bought me a bike" is fine but combine thoughts smoothly).

例: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a small green bike, and I learned to ride it by following my uncle’s example. I practiced every afternoon until I felt confident.

提案: Give a direct, clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and a brief comparison. Avoid uncertainty phrases like "I'm not entirely sure"—instead say what you think is likely. Use linking words (however, although, consequently) to make your answer coherent.

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country. Because roads in urban areas are often uneven and traffic is heavy, most people prefer motorbikes or cars. However, in rural areas where traffic is lighter and distances are shorter, bicycles are more common.

× I did actually. I, my dad bought me a bike.

✓ I did actually. My dad bought me a bike.

The original contains an extra comma and a misplaced pronoun phrase 'I, my dad' which creates a sentence structure error and interrupts flow. Remove the extraneous 'I,' so the subject 'My dad' properly starts the clause. Also consider merging into one sentence: 'I did, actually; my dad bought me a bike.' for smoother speech.

× I learned how to use it, uh, following my uncle's footsteps.

✓ I learned how to ride it, following in my uncle's footsteps.

The phrase 'use it' is natural but for bikes the verb 'ride' is more appropriate. 'Following my uncle's footsteps' is missing the preposition 'in' for the idiom 'following in someone's footsteps.' This is a preposition/verb form issue: use 'ride' and add 'in' to form the correct expression.

× Most times you hardly see people with bikes because the roads are not smooth and the traffic is usually heavy around my area, so bikes are not popular in my country.

✓ Most of the time you hardly see people with bikes because the roads are not smooth and the traffic is usually heavy in my area, so bikes are not popular in my country.

Use 'Most of the time' rather than 'Most times' for standard English. 'Around my area' is less natural than 'in my area.' The verbs 'see' and 'are' are present and consistent; the change improves idiomatic usage.

× Maybe if I go to the rural areas I would see more bikes, I'm not entirely sure about it.

✓ Maybe if I go to the rural areas I will see more bikes; I'm not entirely sure.

When expressing a real conditional about the future, use 'will' rather than 'would' after 'if' for a likely outcome: 'If I go... I will see.' Also replace the comma splice with a semicolon or separate sentences and remove the redundant 'about it.'