Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove hesitations, fix verb forms and word order, and add one brief supporting detail. Use linking words only if adding a second point.

例: Yes, I did. When I was in fourth grade my dad bought me a red bike, and it was very fast. I rode it to school almost every day, which helped me become confident on the road.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion, then two concise reasons with smoother language and better vocabulary. Remove fillers and awkward phrases (e.g., 'ride by not using car oil'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'also' correctly and be specific with examples.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular, especially in summer, because they are eco-friendly and do not produce vehicle emissions. Also, cycling is excellent exercise for the legs; for example, many people cycle to work or to parks for leisure.

× Yes I did when I was uh in 4th grade my dad bought me bought for me.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was in fourth grade, my dad bought one for me.

The sentence has past-tense content but is run-on and contains a redundant phrase 'bought me bought for me'. Fix by using simple past consistently ('bought') and removing duplication; add punctuation and use 'one' to avoid repeating 'bike'. Also write 'fourth' in word form for clarity.

× It was a red and used to be really fast.

✓ It was red and used to be really fast.

The original includes an unnecessary article 'a' before the adjective 'red' when modifying 'it' (a pronoun). Use 'red' without 'a'. The rest correctly uses 'used to be' for past habitual state.

× Yes, they do, especially in the summer, uh, because you can ride by not using car oil and not damaging uh, nature.

✓ Yes, they are, especially in the summer, because you can ride without using fuel and without damaging nature.

'They do' is incorrect because the question asks if 'bikes are popular' and requires a comment on existence/quality, so 'They are' (present tense) is better. 'Ride by not using car oil' is unnatural and unclear; use 'ride without using fuel'. Also remove filler words and keep parallel structure 'without using... and without damaging...'. This corrects pronoun/reference and idiomatic expression.

× Also it's really good for your legs to exercise them and you can enjoy by yourself just riding it.

✓ Also it is really good exercise for your legs, and you can enjoy riding it by yourself.

The phrase 'good for your legs to exercise them' incorrectly uses pronoun 'them' and awkward infinitive structure. Use noun phrase 'good exercise for your legs' or 'good for exercising your legs'. Also move 'by yourself' to a natural position: 'enjoy riding it by yourself'. This fixes pronoun misuse and improves word order.