Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence stating you had a bike, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct verbs and simple linking words (for example, “and,” “so,” “because”) and avoid unclear phrases. Keep sentences short (maximum 5). Mention concrete activities (where you rode, who with, how you felt) and correct common errors (use “rode” instead of “read,” “to the park,” and simple tense consistency).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I often rode it with my father to the local park, and we enjoyed the sunshine there. Riding helped me feel independent and gave me time to relax after school.

提案: Answer the question directly and give clear reasons. Start with a short opinion sentence (Yes/No/Partly) then support it with specific reasons and one example. Use correct word choice and grammar (e.g., “roads,” “because of rapid economic growth”). Avoid filler words like “uh” and unnecessary repetition. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words such as “because” or “due to.”

例: Bikes are less popular now in my country. This is because rapid economic growth means more people can afford cars, so fewer people ride bikes on the roads. For example, my neighborhood used to have many cyclists, but now most families own at least one car.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child and I usually read it with my father to go to park and to show sunshine in the park and the park is drives me to take care of my work and see a lot of time.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and I usually rode it with my father to go to the park and enjoy the sunshine. The park also gave me time to clear my mind and focus on my work.

Multiple issues: past tense usage and verb forms. Use simple past 'had' instead of 'did have' for a natural answer; 'read' is incorrect past form for 'ride' so use 'rode'; add article 'the' before 'park'; 'show sunshine' is unnatural — use 'enjoy the sunshine'; 'the park is drives me' mixes tenses and verbs — rewrite as 'The park also gave me time...' to keep consistent past tense and clear meaning. Suggestion: Keep verbs in simple past for past events, use correct past forms (ride→rode), and use articles where needed. Suggested fixes: use past simple consistently, correct irregular verbs, add definite article and restructure unclear clauses.

× Uh, it used to be popular in my country, but for right now I don't see a lot of bike in the road, maybe because of the Wales growth of my country.

✓ Uh, bicycles used to be popular in my country, but right now I don't see many bikes on the roads, maybe because of the rapid growth of my country.

Issues: tense and noun number/preposition. 'Used to be' correctly indicates past habit; 'for right now' is awkward—use 'right now'; 'a lot of bike' is singular and uncountable error—use 'many bikes'; 'in the road' should be 'on the roads'; 'Wales growth' is incorrect word choice—likely 'rapid growth' or 'widespread growth'. Suggestion: use plural for countable nouns, use 'on' with roads, choose appropriate adjective ('rapid') and keep present tense for current situation. Suggested fixes: replace 'a lot of bike' with 'many bikes', 'in the road' with 'on the roads', and correct word choice to 'rapid growth'.

× Everybody, I mean, most of the people have a car, so that's why.

✓ Most people have cars, so that's why fewer people ride bikes.

Issues: awkward phrasing and redundancy. 'Everybody, I mean, most of the people' is repetitive; 'have a car' uses singular where plural 'cars' is more natural when speaking generally; sentence lacks a clear result clause—add consequence 'fewer people ride bikes.' Suggestion: simplify to 'Most people have cars' and explicitly state the effect.