Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (use past tense consistently), shorten and make the response more natural and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep to under five sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have my own bike as a child. My elder sister had one, and we often shared it, but because we lived in a small apartment there wasn’t enough room nearby to ride safely. So I mostly rode it only when we visited relatives with more space.

提案: Make the answer more coherent and accurate: state your opinion directly, give two clear and specific reasons, and avoid contradictory or confusing phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore, however) and correct word choice (e.g., ‘afford a car’ rather than repeating ‘person’). Keep it concise.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India. Firstly, they are affordable and economical for many families; secondly, they help navigate heavy traffic more easily. Therefore, many people prefer motorcycles or scooters over cars for daily commuting.

× No, as a child I have never had a bike, although my elder sister had one and we used to share that, but there was not enough space in our small apartment to ride a bike or play around on it.

✓ No, as a child I never had a bike; my elder sister had one and we used to share it, but there was not enough space in our small apartment to ride it or play on it.

This sentence mixes present perfect ('have never had') with past-time reference 'as a child', so past simple is required. Also 'share that' is unnatural; use 'share it'. 'Play around on it' is wordy — 'play on it' is clearer. Suggest using past simple for past habits and simplifying pronoun usage: 'I never had' + 'we used to share it' + 'play on it'. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Yes, I am from India and bikes are very popular here not just for the aesthetic but also for the convenience because traffic congestion is a huge problem here and not every single person can afford a bike as well.

✓ Yes, I am from India, and bikes are very popular here not just for aesthetics but also for convenience, because traffic congestion is a huge problem and not everyone can afford a bike.

'Aesthetic' is a noun/adjective mismatch; use the plural noun 'aesthetics' or the adjective form in a different structure. 'Not every single person' is wordy; use 'not everyone'. 'As well' is redundant with 'not everyone'. Also add commas for clarity. Suggest using 'aesthetics' and 'not everyone' to make the sentence natural and concise. Grammar problem type ID:22

× So I am sorry not every single person.

✓ Sorry, I mean not everyone can afford one.

This fragment is redundant and unclear. It appears to attempt to correct the previous clause. It should be a concise clarification using 'I mean' and 'not everyone' and completing the idea ('can afford one'). This fixes sentence structure and redundancy. Grammar problem type ID:26