Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorez la clarté et la cohérence en utilisant une structure claire (phrase principale + détails), corrigez la grammaire et la précision des temps (utilisez « when I was five » et « I lived »), et évitez les répétitions. Utilisez des mots de liaison pour organiser les informations (par exemple: “when”, “because”, “so”). Donnez des détails précis et concis (âge exact, lieu, raison).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was five. I lived in a small mountain town then, where cars were rare, so a bike was my main way to get around. I remember riding to school and exploring the nearby paths every afternoon.

提案: Rendez la réponse plus concise et mieux structurée : commencez par une phrase claire d'opinion, puis ajoutez deux ou trois raisons spécifiques en utilisant des connecteurs (par exemple: “because”, “also”, “for example”). Évitez les hésitations (« like », « so and the the ») et répétez les mots inutilement. Utilisez un vocabulaire précis (e.g. “environmentally friendly”, “affordable”, “public bike-sharing”).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my area because the government promotes environmentally friendly transport and there are many affordable options. Also, bike-sharing programs and safe bike lanes make cycling convenient for commuting and short trips.

× Yes, I used to have a bike when I was a little kid and that was when I got bike.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike when I was a little kid and that was when I got the bike.

The sentence mixes past tense expressions correctly but misses the definite article before 'bike'. Use 'the bike' to refer to the specific bike previously mentioned. Also 'got bike' is ungrammatical; English requires an article before singular countable nouns. Suggestion: add 'the' before 'bike' to make 'got the bike'.

× I was only at the year of five and that time I hadn't lived in that city.

✓ I was only five years old at the time and I hadn't lived in that city.

The phrase 'at the year of five' is an incorrect prepositional and noun phrasing. The correct English expression is 'five years old' and 'at the time' to refer to that moment. Reorder to 'I was only five years old at the time'. Also keep past perfect 'hadn't lived' to show previous non-residence.

× Actually, I live in a little Old Town in a mountain.

✓ Actually, I live in a small old town in the mountains.

'Little Old Town' uses capitalization and word choice incorrectly. Use 'small' rather than 'little' for describing towns, 'old town' should be lowercase, and 'in a mountain' is incorrect; use 'in the mountains' for general mountainous area or 'on a mountain' for a single peak. Also change article 'a' to 'the' before 'mountains' if speaking generally. Suggestion: 'a small old town in the mountains.'

× So back to that time, having a car is a really like it.

✓ At that time, having a car was really desirable.

The original mixes present tense 'is' with past context and uses 'a really like it' which is ungrammatical. Replace with past tense 'was' and a clear adjective 'desirable' or phrase 'something people liked'. Suggestion: 'At that time, having a car was really desirable.'

× It's not a normal thing. So I just got.

✓ It wasn't a common thing, so I just got one.

Tense mismatch: use past 'wasn't' to match earlier past narrative. 'A normal thing' is better as 'a common thing'. 'I just got' is incomplete; include the object 'one' to indicate a car. Suggestion: 'It wasn't a common thing, so I just got one.'

× Do you think bikes are popular in your country? Student: Yes of course bike is absolutely popular in where I live cause like nowadays the government is encouraging people to use a more environmental friendly way to transport so and the the bike is cheap so it's quite popular here.

✓ Yes, of course bikes are absolutely popular where I live because nowadays the government is encouraging people to use more environmentally friendly ways to travel, and bikes are cheap, so they're quite popular here.

Multiple problems: singular/plural agreement ('bike is' should be 'bikes are' when speaking generally), incorrect word order 'in where I live' should be 'where I live', 'a more environmental friendly way to transport' is ungrammatical—use 'more environmentally friendly ways to travel' or 'a more environmentally friendly mode of transport'. Remove duplicated 'the the'. Use contraction or 'they are' for 'bikes'. Suggestions: use plural nouns when speaking generally, use adverb 'environmentally', and 'ways to travel' or 'modes of transport'.

× ...cause like nowadays the government is encouraging people to use a more environmental friendly way to transport so and the the bike is cheap so it's quite popular here.

✓ ...because nowadays the government is encouraging people to use more environmentally friendly modes of transport, and bikes are cheap, so they're quite popular here.

Replace colloquial 'cause like' with 'because'; 'a more environmental friendly way to transport' should be 'environmentally friendly modes of transport' or 'a more environmentally friendly mode of transport'. Use plural 'bikes are' for general statements. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: use 'because' and correct noun phrases 'modes of transport' and adverb 'environmentally'.