Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g. “my bike” repeated) and correct small grammar/word order issues (say “a black bike” and “it made me feel loved”).

例: Yes. My parents bought me a black bike when I was a child. I rode it every afternoon with my friends and sometimes with my younger brother, which made me feel loved and proud. I still remember how excited I was to learn to ride without training wheels.

提案: Make the answer clearer and more concise. Open with a direct statement, then give two specific reasons using linking words (e.g. because/for example). Fix grammar (use plural verbs: “people use bikes”) and remove redundancy (“people of my country”).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people use them because they are cheap and convenient for short commutes, and others prefer bikes to avoid traffic and save money on fuel.

× Yes, when I was a child, my parents bought me a bike of black colour.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my parents bought me a black bike.

The phrase 'a bike of black colour' is an incorrect article/adjective order and is wordy. Use the article 'a' plus adjective before noun: 'a black bike'. This follows normal English noun phrase order and sounds natural. Replace the original phrasing with 'a black bike'.

× It made me feel so special that my parents love me, so they bought me that bike.

✓ It made me feel so special that my parents loved me, so they bought me that bike.

The sentence mixes past tense 'made' with present tense 'love'. The clause should match past time reference. Use past tense 'loved' (verb in past participle/past form) to maintain consistent tense. Also consider rephrasing to 'because my parents loved me' for clarity.

× Yes, I do think that bikes are important in my country and they are so popular among the people of my country as most of the people uses bike to transport from one place to another and also the people who have to commute to their respective places use bikes for the for in their daily life.

✓ Yes, I do think that bikes are important in my country and they are very popular among the people, as most people use bikes to travel from one place to another, and those who need to commute use bikes in their daily lives.

Multiple issues: 'most of the people uses' has a subject-verb agreement error; plural subject 'people' requires verb 'use' not 'uses'. 'use bike' is count/use issue — use the plural 'bikes' or 'use bikes' or 'use a bike' depending on context. 'to transport' is incorrect usage; use 'to travel' or 'for transportation'. Repetitive and awkward phrases 'for the for in their daily life' are ungrammatical; replace with 'in their daily lives'. The correction fixes subject-verb agreement, verb choice, plurality, and word order for clarity.