Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific details linked logically. Avoid filler sounds and correct verb tense and word order (e.g., "I had a bike" not "I have a bike"). Explain the unusual detail (why you started using it at 17) with a linking phrase such as "however" or "because."

例: I had a bike as a child; my parents gave it to me for my fifth birthday. However, I only learned to ride it when I was 17 because my family lived on steep hills and I didn't feel comfortable riding earlier.

提案: Give a clear opinion with a brief reason and a specific example. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and correct vocabulary ("routes" or "lanes" rather than "threats"). Avoid unfinished sentences. State whether you agree, then support with 1–2 precise reasons such as infrastructure, cost, or convenience.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many cities have dedicated bike lanes and cycling is an affordable way to commute. For example, in my city, people often cycle to work during rush hour to avoid traffic and save money on transport.

× Yes, I have a bike when uh umm, I was a child and my bike was gifted me my 5th uh, birthday, but I started use that bike just when I was 17 years old because I learned.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My bike was a gift for my fifth birthday, but I only started using it when I was 17 because I learned then.

Multiple tense errors: the student mixes present tense 'have' with past context. Use past tense 'had' for something in childhood. 'Was gifted me' is incorrect passive and pronoun order; use 'was a gift for my fifth birthday' or 'my parents gifted me a bike for my fifth birthday.' 'Started use' needs the '-ing' form 'started using.' Also 'my 5th uh, birthday' should be 'my fifth birthday.' Improve by keeping past tense consistently for past events and using correct passive or active structures and gerund after 'start'. Suggested practice: rewrite past narratives keeping verbs in past tense and practice structures: 'had,' 'was gifted' or 'was a gift,' and 'started using.'

× ...but I started use that bike just when I was 17 years old because I learned.

✓ ...but I started using that bike only when I was 17 years old because I learned then.

After verbs like 'start,' the verb that follows should be in the -ing (gerund) form: 'started using.' Also 'just' is better as 'only' for meaning, and add 'then' to clarify timing. Practice forming sentences with 'start + -ing' and placing adverbs correctly.

× my bike was gifted me my 5th uh, birthday

✓ My bike was a gift for my fifth birthday.

The phrase 'gifted me my birthday' misorders object and cause; the passive voice 'was gifted to me' could work, but the natural phrasing is 'was a gift for my fifth birthday' or 'my parents gifted me a bike for my fifth birthday.' Use correct object placement or passive construction.

× Yes, I think because we have a lot of umm, threats for uh, bicycle, so people have more possibility to ride bike during the day to commute from how to work and it's also.

✓ Yes, I think so, because we have many bike lanes, so people are more likely to ride bikes during the day to commute to work.

Multiple issues: 'we have a lot of umm, threats for uh, bicycle' is unclear and likely wrong word choice; 'threats' should be 'bike lanes' or 'facilities' depending on meaning. 'Possibility' is awkward; use 'more likely' or 'more opportunity.' 'Ride bike' should be plural 'ride bikes' or 'ride a bike.' 'Commute from how to work' is ungrammatical; correct is 'commute to work.' Also verb tense: 'are more likely to ride' uses present simple with modal likelihood. Improve by choosing correct nouns ('many' with countable 'bike lanes'), correct collocations ('commute to work'), and clear word choice.