Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence and avoid overly personal or negative phrasing. Provide one brief reason and, if possible, a short detail to enrich the answer. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use past tense consistently (e.g., “I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn't afford one”).

例: I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn’t afford one. Instead, I usually walked to school or took public transport, which was a reliable way for me to get around.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence, then support it with specific details and a linking phrase. Use consistent tense and smoother phrasing instead of fragmented clauses. Mention a reason and a brief example or consequence to make it more informative.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many children and teenagers use them for short trips and exercise. For example, when I was young I often saw kids riding bikes to school or to the park on weekends.

× I don't have a bike because we are just poor and we don't have enough money to buy a bike.

✓ I didn't have a bike because we were poor and didn't have enough money to buy one.

The question asks about the past (when you were a child), so present tense 'don't have' and 'we are' are incorrect. Use past tense: 'didn't have' and 'were'. Also, 'a bike' repeated is redundant; use the pronoun 'one' for clarity and conciseness.

× Yes, because when I was a kid, I saw many kids, They have a bike, they're riding a bike.

✓ Yes, because when I was a kid I saw many kids who had bikes riding them.

Mixed tenses and punctuation errors: after 'when I was a kid' the verbs describing that time should be past tense ('had', 'were riding'). The original uses present 'have' and contraction 'they're' which is incorrect for past narrative. Also remove the comma splice and use a relative clause 'who had bikes' or restructure to 'had bikes riding them' for fluency; 'bikes' plural matches 'many kids'.