Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and grammatical errors (tense and word choice). Also correct awkward phrasing like “I feel independently back.”

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a bicycle in 2011, and I used it mainly to ride to school. Because it was my own bike, I felt more independent and could travel with friends after class.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence, then give specific reasons and examples with linking words. Remove hesitations and improve vocabulary (e.g., “children” or “students,” “commute” instead of “going”). Combine ideas into coherent sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines. For example, many students commute to school by bicycle because it is inexpensive and convenient, and children often ride with friends for safety and fun.

× Yes. I had the bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes. I had a bike when I was a child.

Grammar Problem Type ID:1 Singular and plural issue. The article 'the' implies a specific bike already known; in this context the speaker means any bike they owned as a child, so use the indefinite article 'a' with the singular noun 'bike'. Suggestion: use 'a bike' when introducing a nonspecific singular item.'

× My father, uh, bought it for me way back in 2011 and I use it, uh, just going to school and I feel independently back.

✓ My father bought it for me way back in 2011, and I used it just to go to school and felt independent.

Errors include tense consistency and verb form: 'use' and 'feel' are present while the context is past (bought in 2011), so change to past tense 'used' and 'felt' (Grammar Problem Type ID:6 Present tense issue and ID:5 Past tense issue). Also 'going to school' should be 'to go to school' to form an infinitive purpose phrase (Grammar Problem Type ID:26 Sentence structure errors). 'Independently' is an adverb but the sentence needs the adjective 'independent' to describe the speaker's state. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout when describing past habitual actions and use adjective for states.'

× Yes, bikes are popular in our country which is the Philippines.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in our country, the Philippines.

The original is grammatically understandable but contains awkward relative clause use. Use a noun phrase apposition 'the Philippines' set off by commas rather than 'which is' (Grammar Problem Type ID:16 Incorrect conjunction use / ID:26 Sentence structure errors). Suggestion: use apposition for clarifying country names.'

× Most of umm, most of the kids here are using bikes, going to school and umm.

✓ Most of the kids here use bikes to go to school.

Use simple present 'use' for habitual actions rather than present continuous 'are using' (Grammar Problem Type ID:6 Present tense issue). Also remove duplicate 'most of' and combine into a concise sentence (Grammar Problem Type ID:26 Sentence structure errors). Suggestion: say 'Most of the kids here use bikes to go to school.'

× They are using it with friends of course.

✓ They use them with friends, of course.

Pronoun agreement and number: 'bikes' is plural, so use 'them' not 'it' (Grammar Problem Type ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns and ID:1 Singular and plural issue). Also habitual action fits simple present 'use' rather than 'are using' (Grammar Problem Type ID:6 Present tense issue). Suggestion: match pronoun number to antecedent and use simple present for routines.'