Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural, concise and add specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain what kind of bike it was, how you used it and a short reason why you liked it. Use linking words (e.g., “because”, “so”, “and”) and keep to at most 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle with training wheels, and I rode it around the neighborhood every afternoon. I really loved it because it gave me freedom and helped me make friends with other kids nearby.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words to make your points coherent (for example “however”, “because”, “for example”). Avoid repeating phrases and be more precise about how common bikes are in different places or among different groups.

例: Not very popular overall; however, bikes are common in big cities and among students. For example, in my city many people cycle to university because it is cheap and faster than buses, but in rural areas cars are more common because distances are longer.

× Yes, I had the bike when I was a child and I like it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I liked it.

The sentence mixes past and present tense. The speaker refers to a past state (having a bike as a child), so the verb 'like' should also be in the past tense 'liked' to match. Also, 'the bike' suggests a specific bike previously mentioned; 'a bike' is more natural when introducing it. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using past tense for both verbs and use 'a' to introduce the noun.

× I don't think so, but I saw a lot of bikes but not too much in my country.

✓ I don't think so, but I see a lot of bikes in some places, not very many in my country overall.

The original mixes present opinion with past observation and has incorrect quantifier use ('not too much' with countable 'bikes'). Maintain present tense for ongoing general observation: 'I see' or 'there are'. Also use correct quantifier for countable nouns: 'not many' or 'not very many'. The repetition of 'but' is redundant; combine ideas more clearly. Suggestion: use 'see' for habitual observations and 'many' for countable nouns.