Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (when you got it, how you felt or how you used it). Use correct tense and article use (e.g., "in second grade" not "in my grade second"). Avoid filler words like "like."

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me when I was in second grade, and I rode it to visit friends and practice every afternoon. I remember feeling very proud because it was my first big gift.

提案: Give a direct opinion then support it with specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example", "also") and correct phrasing ("when we are growing up" not "when we are in growing age"). Remove fillers and repeat words.

例: Yes, I believe bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many children receive bikes as gifts while growing up, and adults often use them for shopping or commuting in small towns.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, like I got it in my grade second which was gifted by my father to me.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child; I got it in second grade as a gift from my father.

The original sentence has awkward word order and unnecessary words ('like', 'grade second', 'which was gifted by my father to me'). This is a sentence structure error: clauses are not connected clearly and the passive phrasing is redundant. Correction fixes word order ('second grade'), removes 'like', uses a clear coordination (';') and a concise active construction ('a gift from my father'). Suggestion: use simple clause linking and prefer active voice for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Yes, I I believe that bikes are very popular in my country. Like when we are go, when we are in growing age we get bikes.

✓ Yes, I believe that bikes are very popular in my country. When we are growing up, we usually get bikes.

This contains repeated word ('I I'), incorrect verb forms ('are go'), awkward phrase ('in growing age'), and informal filler 'Like'. These are sentence structure problems: verbs and phrases are misused and the sentence lacks fluency. Correction removes duplication, replaces 'when we are go' with 'when we are growing up', and uses 'usually' to reflect habitual action. Suggestion: avoid fillers, use standard expressions ('growing up'), and check for duplicate words and correct verb forms. Grammar problem type ID: 26