Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more grammatically correct, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and small linking words (for example, “when” or “for”) and correct articles. Avoid unnecessary words and keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I got a bike from my grandfather for my fourth birthday, and I rode it for about three years. It was a bright red balance bike, and I remember learning to ride on our quiet street.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Use a topic sentence stating your opinion, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid hesitations and unclear phrases. Provide concrete examples or comparisons (e.g., students commuting) and correct grammar (e.g., “students” not “student”).

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many students and commuters use them to get to school and work. For example, in my city you can see many students cycling to school in the morning, especially in residential areas where parking is limited.

× Yes, I have it.

✓ Yes, I had one.

The question asks about the past ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?'), so the verb should be in past tense. Also using 'it' implies a specific bike known in context; 'one' is more natural to refer to 'a bike' in general. Change 'have' to past 'had' and 'it' to 'one' to match meaning and tense.

× I at the birthday when I became four years old, my grandfather gave me a bike as a birthday present and I used it three years.

✓ On my fourth birthday, my grandfather gave me a bike as a present, and I used it for three years.

This sentence has multiple problems: wrong preposition and phrase order ('at the birthday when I became four years old' is awkward), tense and time expression issues, and missing preposition before a duration. 'On my fourth birthday' is the natural time phrase; use past simple 'gave' for a completed past action; indicate duration with 'for three years'. Breaking into clearer clauses and adding commas improves readability.

× I think so because I'm in the uni by the way, I'm in the universe, uh, junior high school student and I hope the student come to school with bike.

✓ I think so because I am a junior high school student, and I hope students come to school by bike.

Multiple errors here: 'I'm in the uni' and 'I'm in the universe' are incorrect expressions for being a student; use 'I am a junior high school student'. 'The student' should be plural 'students' to match general meaning, and the verb must agree: 'students come'. Use the preposition 'by' with 'bike' to indicate mode of transport. Maintain present simple for general statements.

× So it is a really famous in my country.

✓ So bikes are very popular in my country.

'It is a really famous' is ungrammatical: 'famous' is an adjective that needs an appropriate subject (a specific noun) and 'really famous' should modify a noun; better to say 'bikes are very popular'. This corrects subject number and uses 'popular' which is more natural here; 'very' is preferred over 'really' in formal corrections.