Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more complete and coherent: give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details and finish the thought. Avoid trailing off and unnecessary repetition. Use linking words (for example, and, so, because) to connect ideas and keep answers within 3–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a red Ladybird bicycle with a small front basket, and I often used the basket to collect flowers from our garden. I rode it to visit friends and to practice cycling in the park, which helped me become confident on the road.

提案: Correct word choice and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, moreover). Use precise vocabulary (popular, affordable, commute) and avoid filler sounds. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because many people cannot afford cars and use them for commuting to work. Moreover, cycling is seen as a healthy and economical option, so many urban residents prefer bikes for short trips.

× It was a Ladybird company cycle and it had a small basket but I used to put all the flowers and.

✓ It was a Ladybird company cycle and it had a small basket, and I used to put all the flowers in it.

The original sentence ends abruptly and omits the preposition and object required after 'put'. This is an incorrect use of the present participle structure and sentence structure: 'put' requires an object or a prepositional phrase (e.g., 'in it'). Also add a comma and conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: always complete phrasal verbs and prepositional objects (e.g., 'put all the flowers in it').

× Yes, bikes are appalled in our country, uh, because most of the people who can't afford cars commute to their, uh, workplace through bicycles and uh, they are also good, uh, for health.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in our country because many people who can't afford cars commute to their workplaces by bicycle, and they are also good for health.

The speaker used 'appalled' (which means shocked) instead of the adjective 'popular'; this is an incorrect adjective choice. Also there are several small grammar issues: 'most of the people' is better as 'many people' for naturalness; 'workplace' should be plural 'workplaces' when referring to many people; use 'by bicycle' rather than 'through bicycles'; and 'good for health' needs the article or be phrased 'good for health' is acceptable but more natural as 'good for one's health' or simply 'good for health'. Suggestions: choose the correct adjective (popular), use 'by' with transport modes (by bicycle), match number (workplaces), and prefer concise natural phrases.