Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you had a bike, then give one or two specific supporting details (who taught you, when, how you used it). Use linking words (for example, because, when) and avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Keep to 2–4 short sentences and use correct verb forms and pronouns.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father taught me to ride it when I was seven, and he supported me until I felt confident. After that, I used it to go to school and visit friends, so it became my main way of getting around.

提案: Answer directly then provide clear, specific reasons or examples. Begin with a topic sentence stating whether bikes are popular, then support it with facts (e.g., many people use bikes for commuting, students often ride them) and a linking word (for example, because, therefore). Avoid confusing or irrelevant references and reduce repetition.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many people use them for short commutes because they are cheap and convenient, and students often ride bikes to school. For example, most of my childhood friends owned a bike and used it daily.

× Yes, I heard the boy called a child.

✓ Yes, I meant the phrase 'boy' when I was a child.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical (sentence structure error). It mixes ideas and uses past tense 'heard' incorrectly. Clarify intended meaning: the student likely tried to say they were called a 'boy' or meant 'boy' referring to childhood; use 'meant' and specify context. Suggestion: keep subject, verb, and object clear and use correct tense.

× Uh, my, my first, my first drive listened to my father.

✓ My first time riding was when my father taught me.

Original uses incorrect verb 'listened' and awkward repetition; it's a sentence structure error. Use 'first time riding' and verb 'taught' to convey that the father instructed. Keep simple past tense for a past event.

× He is supporting me and teaching me how to grow it with the supporting world.

✓ He supported me and taught me how to ride it safely.

Pronouns and tense are incorrect: 'He is supporting me' (present continuous) and 'grow it with the supporting world' is nonsensical. Use past tense 'supported' and 'taught' for a past event and replace vague phrase with 'ride it safely.' Clarify pronoun 'it' refers to the bike.

× And uh, it is my first, my first, uh, transportation that I drive.

✓ It was my first means of transportation that I used.

Awkward repetition and wrong verb choice 'drive' for a bike; tense should be past ('was') because talking about childhood. Use 'means of transportation' and 'used' to be natural.

× There's a boy in my country is famous, uh, everybody wants his child.

✓ There is a famous boy in my country whom everyone admires.

Run-on and unclear reference: 'There's a boy ... is famous' is redundant and 'everybody wants his child' is incorrect. Use relative clause 'whom everyone admires' to express fame and admiration.

× He had uh, A1 even even my, my, uh, my childhood friends, all them have a, have a bike.

✓ He had one; even my childhood friends all had bikes.

Pronoun and article misuse: 'A1' is unclear; likely 'one' or 'a bike.' Switch to past tense 'had' for past events and correct plural 'bikes' when referring to multiple friends. Use 'all had bikes.'

× Even even the, the edits now everyone had a bike as a transportation.

✓ Even now, almost everyone has a bike for transportation.

Tense and word choice errors: 'now' requires present tense 'has' not past 'had.' 'Edits' is wrong word; likely 'adults' or 'people.' Use 'almost everyone has a bike for transportation.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct noun choice.