Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, sentence structure and fluency. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and article usage, and avoid repetition. Use linking words to add a specific supporting detail (when, how often, who with) and keep the answer within 3–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I received it as a birthday present when I turned seven, and I used to ride it almost every day after school. I often rode with my neighborhood friends, and we would explore nearby streets and parks until sunset.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then provide specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Use correct noun forms and articles, and give one or two concrete examples (who rides, where, and why). Keep it concise and coherent.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many children and teenagers ride them because cycling is inexpensive and fun, and families often use bikes for short trips to parks and markets. For example, on weekends you can see groups of kids riding together along the river path.

× Yes I had a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Missing comma after introductory adverb 'Yes'; sentence tense is correct (past). Add the comma for correct punctuation and natural spoken writing.

× I got it for my birthday gift on my 7 years old.

✓ I got it as a birthday present when I was seven years old.

The original uses incorrect preposition 'on' and awkward phrase 'my 7 years old'. Use 'as a birthday present' and the time expression 'when I was seven years old'. 'Seven' should be written in words in normal prose; age uses 'when I was X years old'.

× I sometimes I used the that bike to play with my friends and I love the bike so.

✓ Sometimes I used that bike to play with my friends, and I loved the bike very much.

Redundant subject 'I' appears twice and unnecessary article 'the' before 'that bike'. Tense inconsistency: talking about childhood requires past tense 'loved' not present 'love'. 'So' is informal and vague; replace with 'very much'. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses.

× Yes, I do because every children who has a bikes, it's such looks amazing or cool and we can play together with that bikes strolling around our city.

✓ Yes, I do, because every child who has a bike thinks it looks amazing or cool, and we can ride those bikes together around our city.

Multiple errors: 'every children' should be singular 'every child' (singular/plural issue). 'has a bikes' mixes singular and plural; use 'has a bike'. The clause 'it's such looks amazing' is ungrammatical—use 'thinks it looks amazing'. 'that bikes' should match number: use 'those bikes' or 'the bikes'; here 'those bikes' fits. Also replace 'strolling' (used for walking) with 'ride' for bikes. Adjust commas for clarity.