Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, use one or two specific supporting details, and link them logically. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “Yes, I did” or “Yes, I had one”). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bicycle and I rode it almost every day with my friends after school. Because we explored different parks and streets, I became more confident and fit, and those outings helped me make close friendships.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear main idea, then give specific reasons and a brief example. Avoid vague phrasing and correct vocabulary (e.g., “bike-sharing apps” and “free to rent” rather than “writing for free”). Use linking words like “however” or “for example.”

例: It depends on the area. In central Bangkok bikes and especially bike-sharing services are quite popular because there are many lanes and apps that let you rent a bike cheaply. However, in suburban areas people prefer motorbikes or cars because the roads are less safe for cyclists.

× Yes, I had.

✓ Yes, I did.

Using 'I had' alone is unclear because the question asks about possession in the past and the short answer should use the auxiliary do in past simple: 'Did you have...?' -> 'Yes, I did.' Use 'I had' only in full sentence form ('I had a bike').

× I used to go, I used to go riding all the time with my friends.

✓ I used to go riding all the time with my friends.

Redundant repetition 'I used to go, I used to go' is unnecessary. 'Used to' correctly expresses habitual past actions; combine into one clause 'I used to go riding' or 'I used to ride' for conciseness.

× It was a very enjoyable experience and my bike has affected a lot of positive outcomes towards me.

✓ It was a very enjoyable experience and my bike had a lot of positive effects on me.

The sentence mixes past 'was' with present perfect 'has affected'. Keep tense consistent by using past simple or past perfect. Also 'affected a lot of positive outcomes towards me' is awkward; use 'had a lot of positive effects on me' for natural phrasing.

× Personally it depends on where it is in the city.

✓ Personally, it depends on where in the city you are.

The original word order and pronoun reference are awkward. 'Depends on where it is in the city' is unclear; better: 'depends on where in the city you are' to indicate location relative to the listener or general people.

× In Bangkok in where I live, it is very popular around the big cities where there are many facilities and the bikes are very accessible as there are many apps which you can sign up for writing for free.

✓ In Bangkok, where I live, cycling is very popular in the big city areas because there are many facilities, and bikes are very accessible since there are many apps you can sign up for to rent them for free or cheaply.

Multiple issues: 'In Bangkok in where I live' is incorrect word order; use 'In Bangkok, where I live'. 'It is very popular around the big cities' is vague—use 'cycling is very popular in the big city areas'. 'Apps which you can sign up for writing for free' is incorrect: likely meant 'rent for free' or 'use for free'; 'writing' is wrong verb. Clarify purpose 'to rent them' and fix prepositions and verb forms.