Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Bạn trả lời trực tiếp nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, chia thì sai và câu rối. Hãy dùng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, chia động từ đúng thì (past simple) và thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ ngắn gọn với từ nối hợp lý. Tránh từ ngữ thừa và tiếng lắp (uh). Cụ thể: 1) Sửa thì và cấu trúc (I had a bike / My mum gave it to me). 2) Dùng từ nối như “because” hoặc “so” để giải thích lý do. 3) Giữ độ dài tối đa 3-4 câu. Ví dụ các phần cần cải thiện: “I have a bike when I were 10 years old this world” → “I got a bike when I was ten.” và “my mom, the gift for my 10 years old, the birthday” → “my mum gave it to me as a birthday present.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mum gave it to me as a birthday present when I was ten, because I needed to cycle to school on my own. I used it every day, which helped me become more independent and fit.

提案: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng phát âm/viết từ sai (“BY” → “bikes”) và có lỗi từ vựng (“heartbreaking” sai nghĩa). Câu hơi chung chung; bạn cần cụ thể hóa và dùng từ phù hợp (heart disease, obesity). Dùng liên từ để liên kết lý do và thêm ví dụ cụ thể hoặc so sánh. Giữ 2–3 câu, chia thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen. Ví dụ cần tránh: “residents in here” → “people here” hoặc “many people”.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. Many people cycle regularly because it is a healthy and inexpensive way to travel, and it helps reduce risks of heart disease and obesity. For instance, I often see commuters and students cycling to work and school.

× Absolutely yes. I have a bike when I were 10 years old this world, uh, my mom, the gift for my 10 years old, the birthday, because this time I have to go to school without support from my parents, so they give me this bike.

✓ Absolutely. I had a bike when I was 10 years old. My mom gave it to me as a birthday present because at that time I had to go to school without my parents' support, so they gave me this bike.

The student mixes past and present tenses and uses incorrect past forms. Use simple past for completed past events: 'had' not 'have', 'was' not 'were', 'gave' not 'give'. Also correct possessive and word order. Suggestion: narrate past events consistently in past tense and use subject-verb agreement in past (I was, my mom gave). Use 'birthday present' or 'gift' and place time expressions appropriately.

× I have a bike when I were 10 years old this world, uh, my mom, the gift for my 10 years old, the birthday, because this time I have to go to school without support from my parents, so they give me this bike.

✓ Absolutely. I had a bike when I was 10 years old. My mom gave it to me as a birthday present because at that time I had to go to school without my parents' support, so they gave me this bike.

Prepositions and time expressions are used incorrectly: use 'when I was 10 years old' and 'as a birthday present' and 'without my parents' support'. Suggestion: use 'when' + age, 'as' for role (as a present), and 'without' + noun phrase for lack of support.

× I think BY is a common vehicle in my country because residents in here want to improve their health and also want to prevent some health problems such as heartbreaking or obesity.

✓ I think bicycles are a common means of transport in my country because residents here want to improve their health and also want to prevent health problems such as heart disease or obesity.

The student uses incorrect singular/plural and wrong noun choices: 'BY' unclear, use 'bicycles' (plural) or 'a bicycle' with article. 'Residents in here' should be 'residents here'. 'Heartbreaking' is wrong; the correct term is 'heart disease'. Suggestion: use correct nouns and collocations: 'a common means of transport', 'residents here', and name medical conditions accurately.

× I think BY is a common vehicle in my country because residents in here want to improve their health and also want to prevent some health problems such as heartbreaking or obesity.

✓ I think bicycles are a common means of transport in my country because residents here want to improve their health and also want to prevent health problems such as heart disease or obesity.

'Common vehicle' is acceptable but 'means of transport' is more natural. 'Heartbreaking' is an adjective meaning emotionally distressing, not a disease. Use 'heart disease' (noun). Suggestion: choose appropriate nouns for medical terms and idiomatic phrases for transport.