Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with word choice and sentence clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid hesitation words like “Uh,” and correct verb collocations (use “ride with” or “take” friends, not “raise”). Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and add one specific detail (e.g., a memory or how often). Use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I did. I had a white bicycle that I rode around my neighborhood almost every day after school. Because the park was nearby, I often rode to the park with two or three friends, which made cycling a fun social activity. I remember racing my friend Ahmed to the big oak tree every afternoon.

提案: Begin with a clear, direct topic sentence and ensure subject-verb agreement (e.g., “they are popular” or “bicycles are popular”). Improve grammar and fluency by using linking words like “because” and “also,” and make descriptions more specific (give examples or statistics if possible). Avoid vague phrases like “social activity” without elaboration—say how it helps (e.g., meeting friends, learning balance).

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in Morocco, especially among children and teenagers. Many parents encourage cycling because it is healthier and helps children make friends and develop balance. For instance, weekend markets and parks are often full of kids riding bikes together.

× I had a white bicycle and I loved riding it around my neighborhood.

✓ I had a white bicycle, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood.

No grammatical error under the provided list; just a punctuation improvement by adding a comma before the coordinating conjunction connecting two independent clauses. This preserves past-tense consistency and improves readability.

× After school, I would often raise my friends to the park, which made cycling one of my favorite pastimes as a child.

✓ After school, I would often take my friends to the park, which made cycling one of my favorite pastimes as a child.

The verb 'raise' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'take' when referring to accompanying someone to a place. This is a sentence structure/word choice error affecting subject-verb relation and meaning, classified here as a subject-verb agreement/structure issue (ID 27). Suggestion: use verbs that fit the context (take/bring) and keep past habitual 'would' for repeated past actions.

× Yes, it's popular in Morocco, especially among children.

✓ Yes, they're popular in Morocco, especially among children.

The pronoun and verb agreement is incorrect because 'bikes' (plural) was the topic of the question. Using 'it's' (it is) incorrectly treats 'bikes' as singular. This is a subject-verb agreement / sentence structure error (ID 27). Suggestion: match number between subject and verb; use 'they're' or 'bicycles are' for plural subjects.

× Many parents prefer cycling as a pastime for their children because it's healthier and social activity.

✓ Many parents prefer cycling as a pastime for their children because it's a healthier and more social activity.

Adjective/adverb usage and article missing: 'healthier' and 'social' are adjectives describing 'activity'; when using two adjectives in this way, include the article 'a' and use comparative 'more social' to pair with 'healthier'. This is an incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs (ID 13) and article omission. Suggestion: include appropriate articles and use parallel adjective forms ('healthier and more social').