Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and informal fragments. Focus on natural phrasing, correct verb forms, and logical connectors (e.g., however, so, because).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. I asked my father for one almost every day, but he couldn’t afford it at the time. As a result, I learned to enjoy walking and using public transport instead.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Improve sentence structure and vocabulary (use "two-wheelers" and avoid repeating "I believe"). Be concise and avoid awkward phrases. Mention a concrete example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India. They are affordable and convenient for short trips, especially in crowded cities, so many people prefer them over cars. For example, millions of two-wheelers are registered each year in urban areas.

× Well it is a bit of a sad story to be honest.

✓ Well, it is a bit of a sad story, to be honest.

Missing commas create a run-on feel and reduce clarity. Add a comma after 'Well' (introductory word) and before 'to be honest' (parenthetical phrase) to show correct sentence structure and natural speech pauses.

× I never had get to have a bike when I was a kid though I learned so much to own one.

✓ I never got to have a bike when I was a kid, though I longed so much to own one.

The phrase 'had get to have' is ungrammatical. Use the simple past 'got' for 'get' in past context. 'Learned so much to own one' is incorrect for expressing desire; use 'longed so much to own one' or 'really wanted to own one.' Correction uses past tense consistent with 'when I was a kid.'

× I always drag behind my father requesting for one almost every day, but my dad always sent me off giving.

✓ I always trailed behind my father, asking him for one almost every day, but my dad always refused.

Multiple issues: tense consistency and incorrect verbs. 'Drag behind' is awkward — 'trailed behind' fits past habitual action. 'Requesting for' is incorrect; say 'asking him for.' 'Sent me off giving' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'refused' or 'would not give me one.' This correction makes the sentence natural and grammatically correct in past tense.

× Being a citizen from India which is famous for two Wheelers all over its corners, I believe yes, bikes are very popular in my country and I believe mainly to the fact that it is one of the most accessible means of transport and reliable as well.

✓ As a citizen of India, which is famous for two-wheelers everywhere, I believe bikes are very popular in my country, mainly because they are one of the most accessible and reliable means of transport.

Problems: incorrect participial phrase 'Being a citizen from India' should be 'As a citizen of India.' Capitalization and hyphenation: 'two Wheelers' should be 'two-wheelers.' 'All over its corners' is awkward; 'everywhere' or 'throughout the country' is better. Repetition of 'I believe' is unnecessary. 'Mainly to the fact that' is incorrect; use 'mainly because.' Reorder adjectives 'accessible and reliable' for fluency. Overall, corrects prepositions, word choice, adjective use, and sentence flow.