Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện độ tự nhiên và cấu trúc câu: tránh các tiếng ậm ừ (uh) và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp/thiếu từ. Nên trả lời trực tiếp bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1–2 chi tiết hỗ trợ cụ thể (ví dụ: màu sắc, kỷ niệm, cách bạn dùng nó). Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý và giữ tối đa 5 câu. Ví dụ chỉnh sửa phần ngữ pháp (used to + V), và hoàn chỉnh câu bị bỏ dở.

例: Yes, I had a red bicycle until I was about ten. It was a birthday present from my father, and I used to ride it to school every day. I remember feeling very proud of it because it had a shiny bell and a small basket in front.

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, tính mạch lạc và lựa chọn từ: sửa thì (was popular), số nhiều/đếm được (motorbikes), so sánh và độ rõ ràng (too noisy). Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó giải thích lý do với các chi tiết cụ thể và dùng liên từ để nối ý (however, now, because). Tránh lỗi chắp vá và cố gắng dùng từ vựng phù hợp (environmentally unfriendly, noisy).

例: Bikes were very popular about twenty years ago; however, now most people use motorbikes and cars. I think this change is unfortunate because motor vehicles are more polluting and much noisier than bicycles, which harms both the environment and people's health.

× Yes, I used to have uh, on a red one before I was 10.

✓ Yes, I used to have a red one before I was 10.

The phrase 'on a red one' is incorrect word order and unnecessary preposition 'on'. Remove 'on' to make a correct noun phrase. Also ensure concise spoken style: 'used to have a red one'.

× I remember that it used to.

✓ I remember that I used to.

The original sentence ends abruptly because the verb phrase lacks an object or complement. Adding the subject 'I' clarifies who 'used to' refers to and completes the sentence.

× It was my father's, uh, birthday gift and I love it a lot.

✓ It was my father's birthday gift and I loved it a lot.

Tense consistency: the gift was given in the past, so 'loved' (past tense) is appropriate. Also remove the unnecessary comma after 'father's'. Using the definite article is fine here; main issues are punctuation and tense.

× It's really popular about 20 years ago, but right now it's most motorbike and car on the street and I don't like it because it's not good for the environment and it's too noisier.

✓ Bicycles were really popular about 20 years ago, but now there are mostly motorbikes and cars on the streets, and I don't like that because they are bad for the environment and too noisy.

Multiple problems: 1) Time mismatch: use past tense 'were' for 'about 20 years ago' (Grammar problem type 6). 2) Incorrect subject/noun choice: use 'Bicycles' rather than 'It's'. 3) Incorrect use of 'most motorbike and car' — correct to 'mostly motorbikes and cars' (pluralization and quantifier). 4) Use 'there are' to state existence (There be issue, but adjusted as part of sentence). 5) 'Too noisier' is ungrammatical; 'noisier' is comparative and cannot be modified by 'too' here; use 'too noisy' or 'much noisier' depending on comparison. 6) Ensure plural agreement 'they are bad' to refer to motorbikes and cars.