Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and gives personal detail, but it has grammatical errors, some redundancy, and is slightly long. Improve by using a clear topic sentence, correcting grammar (singular/plural, tense, articles), and reducing repetition. Add one specific supporting detail and use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was in secondary school. My mother gave it to me as a present, and it was the first time I learned to ride. As a result, I felt very grateful because it gave me freedom to visit friends and explore my neighbourhood.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has grammatical mistakes (subject-verb agreement, unnecessary conjunctions) and unclear phrasing. Be direct with a topic sentence, avoid starting with both 'although' and 'but', correct verb forms, and provide a specific reason with a linking word. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Bikes are still fairly common in my country, but motorbikes have become more popular recently. This is because motorbikes are faster and require less physical effort, so many people use them for commuting and running errands.

× Yes, I owned one of my bikes when I was a child in secondary school.

✓ Yes, I owned a bike when I was a child in secondary school.

The phrase 'one of my bikes' suggests multiple bikes owned, but the student intends to say they owned a single bike; using 'a bike' is clearer. Replace the plural possessive structure with the singular indefinite article to match meaning and agreement. Suggestion: Use 'a bike' when referring to a single, unspecified bike.

× That was the first time that I learned how to ride a bike and my mum gave it as a present, which I felt very grateful about owning my own bikes.

✓ That was the first time I learned how to ride a bike, and my mum gave it to me as a present, which made me feel very grateful to own my own bike.

Several issues: use simpler relative clause and correct verb-object phrase 'gave it to me' rather than 'gave it as a present'; 'which I felt very grateful about owning my own bikes' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'which made me feel very grateful to own my own bike.' Also ensure singular 'bike' for agreement. Suggestions: split into clearer clauses, use 'gave it to me' and 'made me feel' with 'to own' + singular noun.

× Although I think the bikes it's quite common in my country, but recently the motorbikes is even more popular than the traditional ones because it required less effort to transport to other places.

✓ Although I think bikes are quite common in my country, recently motorbikes have become even more popular than traditional bikes because they require less effort to travel to other places.

Multiple grammar issues: do not combine 'although' with 'but'; subject-verb agreement: 'bikes it's' is incorrect — use 'bikes are'; 'motorbikes is' should be 'motorbikes have become' or 'motorbikes are'; tense and aspect: use present perfect 'have become' to indicate recent change; pronoun agreement: use 'they require' to refer to motorbikes; 'required' should be present 'require' to match general reason. Suggestions: remove 'but' after 'although', ensure subject-verb agreement, use appropriate tense (present perfect for recent trends) and plural pronouns for plural nouns.