Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear statement about your past experience, then add one or two brief supporting details. Keep sentences grammatical and avoid repeating words. Use past tense correctly (e.g., “I had” or “I didn’t have”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle that my parents bought for me when I was seven, and I used it to ride to my friend’s house and around the neighborhood most afternoons.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your opinion, then give two or three specific reasons using linking words (for example, ‘because’, ‘so’, ‘for instance’). Avoid repetition and long fragmented phrases. Use complete sentences and choose precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘convenient’, ‘commute’, ‘students’).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are convenient and inexpensive. For example, many people prefer bikes to avoid traffic and because they are easy to park in crowded areas. Also, students and office workers often ride bikes for short commutes to save time and money.

× Did you have a bike when you were child?

✓ Did you have a bike when you were a child?

Missing article before 'child'. The phrase 'when you were a child' requires the indefinite article 'a'. Suggestion: include 'a' to form the correct noun phrase 'a child'.

× Yes, bikes are popular in my country. Even these are bikes are much popular rather than the cars because car bikes are easy to park, easy to drive and busy traffic areas on people who are going to who goes to office, nearby offices and the and and the students used to take bikes to the school and college because the bike uh.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country. They are much more popular than cars because bikes are easy to park and easy to ride in busy traffic. Many people who go to nearby offices and students go to school and college by bike.

This long answer has multiple grammatical problems: incorrect comparison form ('much popular' should be 'much more popular'), wrong article use ('the cars' not needed), word choice and redundancy ('car bikes' is incorrect), verb form and subject-verb agreement issues ('people who are going to who goes to office' is ungrammatical), and sentence structure and clarity problems. Corrections made: use 'They are much more popular than cars' for correct comparative structure; replace 'because car bikes are easy to park, easy to drive and busy traffic areas' with 'because bikes are easy to park and easy to ride in busy traffic' for correct vocabulary and preposition use; simplify and correct the clause about who uses bikes to 'Many people who go to nearby offices and students go to school and college by bike.' Suggestions: use 'more' with adjectives that need comparison, avoid redundant words, keep subject and verb consistent, use appropriate prepositions ('in busy traffic', 'go to the office'), and break long run-on sentences into shorter clear sentences.