Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and clearer. Start with a direct topic sentence (past simple), avoid fillers, correct tense and pronouns, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Use linking words to show sequence (e.g., "when", "then"). Include a specific age and result. For example, say you had a tricycle as a child, explain when and how you learned to ride a two-wheeler, and finish with a short outcome.

例: Yes. I had a tricycle when I was a child, but I didn’t learn to ride a two-wheeler until I was 14. When I was 14, my aunt gave me lessons and then I practised every weekend. After a few months I could ride a bicycle confidently.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, use linking phrases to structure reasons, and avoid informal fillers. Provide specific details (e.g., climate, infrastructure, cultural habits) and a brief comparison. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences and vary vocabulary (use 'adults' instead of 'big persons').

例: No, bicycles are not very popular among adults in my country. Mainly children use them, because Bahrain’s hot climate and lack of bike lanes make cycling impractical for commuting. As a result, most adults prefer cars for daily travel.

× Actually yes I have a bike when I was a child but it was 3 tires not 2.

✓ Actually yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but it had three tires, not two.

The sentence incorrectly mixes present tense 'have' with past-time reference 'when I was a child.' Use past tense 'had' for possession in the past. Also use past tense 'had' for 'it had three tires.' Spell out numbers under 10 for formality and add commas for clarity.

× Umm until I get me uh 14 years umm my auntie started to give me lessons on how I ride a bike with two tires and I am now.

✓ Until I was about 14 years old, my auntie started giving me lessons on how to ride a two-wheeled bike, and now I can.

The original has incorrect tense and awkward pronouns. 'Until I get me 14 years' is ungrammatical; for past time use 'Until I was about 14 years old.' 'Started to give me lessons' is acceptable but 'started giving me lessons' is more natural. 'How I ride a bike' should be 'how to ride a bike.' 'Two tires' should be 'two-wheeled' or 'a two-wheeled bike.' Ending 'and I am now' is incomplete—use 'and now I can' to indicate ability acquired.

× Not much actually.

✓ Not really, actually.

While short answers can be fine in speech, 'Not much actually' is informal and slightly awkward here. 'Not really, actually' fits the question better. This is a style suggestion rather than a strict grammar rule.

× Only for kids, uh, they are popular, but for big persons, adults they are not because of the the weather.

✓ Bicycles are only popular among children; for adults they are not, mainly because of the weather.

The original uses 'big persons' which is unnatural—use 'adults.' 'Only for kids, uh, they are popular' has a pronoun reference issue; better to state the subject: 'Bicycles are only popular among children.' Remove repeated 'the' and add punctuation to separate clauses.

× For Bahrain it's very hot that you can't even ride it in the summer.

✓ In Bahrain it is so hot that you can't even ride a bike in the summer.

The structure 'it's very hot that' should be 'it is so hot that' to express result. Also specify 'ride a bike' instead of 'ride it' for clarity. Use present simple 'it is' for a general fact.

× So it's not popular as much as cars in between.

✓ So bicycles are not as popular as cars.

Phrase 'in between' is unnecessary and awkward. Use comparative structure 'not as popular as' and make the subject explicit: 'bicycles are not as popular as cars.'