Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “roaming around” used multiple times) and correct small grammar issues (use “interest in” not “interest of”).

例: Yes. I had a bike as a child because I loved exploring my neighborhood. For example, I would ride to the park and visit different streets on weekends, which helped me feel independent and adventurous.

提案: Give a clear main idea, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (e.g., “adjust” is incorrect; use “convenient” or “easy to park”). Remove filler words like “umm.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, they suit narrow streets and are easier to park; secondly, they are far more affordable than cars, so many families choose them for daily transport.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child since I had a keen interest of roaming around the city and exploring new things and to roam around here and there.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child because I was keen on roaming around the city and exploring new things.

Multiple issues: 'since' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer for reason; 'had a keen interest of' is incorrect collocation — correct is 'was keen on' or 'had a keen interest in'; the infinitive 'to roam around here and there' is redundant and awkward. Keep tense consistent in past simple (had, was keen, exploring). Suggestion: use 'was keen on' and remove repetition for clarity.

× So I asked my father to get me a bike because it was something new that was added into my hobbies and I really enjoyed it.

✓ So I asked my father to get me a bike because it was a new hobby and I really enjoyed it.

Awkward phrasing 'something new that was added into my hobbies' — use 'a new hobby'. Tense is past simple and correct (asked, enjoyed). Simplify for natural expression: 'a new hobby' and keep verbs in past simple.

× Yes umm, I personally think bikes are popular in my country because of the narrow streets and they are much more affordable than cars.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because the streets are narrow and they are much more affordable than cars.

Minor issues: filler 'umm' removed for clarity. 'because of the narrow streets' is acceptable but 'because the streets are narrow' is more natural. Tense 'think' is present simple and appropriate. Ensure subject-verb agreement 'streets are'.

× People in my neighborhood and around the places I have seen them having bikes because they are cheaper than cars and they are easily adjust.

✓ People in my neighborhood and nearby areas have bikes because they are cheaper than cars and easier to adjust to the streets.

Original sentence has several errors: awkward structure 'around the places I have seen them having bikes' — simplify to 'nearby areas have bikes' and avoid redundant 'I have seen'. 'They are easily adjust' is ungrammatical: 'adjust' needs to be an adjective or participle; use 'easier to adjust to the streets' or better 'easier to navigate on narrow streets'. Maintain present simple for general truth. Suggestion: 'have bikes' for correct subject-verb agreement and 'easier to navigate' for correct verb form and meaning.