Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, clear, and use correct verbs. Start with a topic sentence saying whether you had a bike, then give one or two concise supporting details (appearance, difficulty learning to ride) using correct vocabulary and grammar. Avoid fillers like “umm” and repetitions, and keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences. Use linking words such as “but” and “eventually” to show contrast and result.

例: Yes, I had a blue bike when I was a child. At first I struggled to learn how to ride it, but after a few weeks of practice I could ride confidently. I remember feeling proud the first time I rode without training wheels.

提案: Answer clearly and avoid unclear phrases and repeated mistakes (e.g., saying “write” instead of “ride/ride back”). Start with a direct topic sentence about popularity, then give one or two specific examples or reasons. Use linking words like “for example” correctly and correct collocations such as “commute by bike” or “ride to school.” Keep sentences concise and use accurate grammar (past/plural forms).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Japan. For example, many students commute to school by bike because it is cheap and convenient, and I remember most of my high school classmates rode their bikes every day.

× I did have my bike, which was blue and I firstly, umm, very struggled to manage how to write write it, but finally I did it.

✓ I did have a bike, which was blue, and at first I struggled a lot to learn how to ride it, but finally I did.

Errors: incorrect collocations and word choice (list item 8: verb + -ing form) and article use. 'Firstly' is unnatural here; use 'at first'. 'Very struggled to manage how to write write it' contains repetition and wrong verb 'write' instead of 'ride' — likely a pronunciation/transcription error. 'Struggled' is followed by an infinitive or gerund depending on meaning; use 'to learn how to ride' or 'with riding'. Also change 'my bike' to 'a bike' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use 'at first I struggled to learn how to ride it' or 'I struggled with riding it'.

× Yes, I think in Japan, umm, it's really popular to write back to commute, uh, among Japanese students, for example, umm, many of my high school classmates were commuting our high school writing.

✓ Yes, I think in Japan it's really popular to commute by bicycle among students; for example, many of my high school classmates commuted to our high school by bike.

Errors: tense and word choice (list item 6: present tense issue) and preposition use. 'It's really popular to write back to commute' appears to be mistranscribed; correct meaning is 'commute by bicycle'. Use present tense 'is popular' for general fact and past tense 'commuted' for specific past example. 'Were commuting our high school writing' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'commuted to our high school by bike'. Suggestion: say 'it's popular to commute by bicycle' and use 'commuted' when referring to classmates in the past.