Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more coherent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I did), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and unclear phrases ("medic medic"). Mention a clear result or reaction from your parents. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a bicycle when I was about seven, and I used it to ride to friends’ houses and the park. However, I fell off several times and needed medical attention once, so my parents often warned me to be careful.

提案: Give a direct opening sentence, then support with specific comparisons and linking words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "public transport" not "public transportation" is fine but be consistent) and fix unclear phrases like "reservoir spaces." Explain why popularity differs (cost, convenience, infrastructure) and avoid repetition. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are popular, but their use varies by area. In small towns, people often cycle because there is little public transport and distances are short. In big cities, traffic congestion and a lack of safe bike lanes make cycling less common despite growing interest.

× Yes, I used to have one, uh, when I was young, my father bought one.

✓ Yes, I used to have one. When I was young, my father bought it for me.

The original compound sentence mixes past habitual 'used to have' with a past event 'my father bought one' without clear connection and punctuation. Separate into two sentences and specify the object 'it' for clarity. Use past tense consistently: 'used to have' (habit) and 'bought' (single past action). Suggestion: split sentences and add a clarifying object.

× It was a very good exercise.

✓ Riding it was very good exercise.

The pronoun 'it' needs a clear reference; 'It was a very good exercise' is vague. More natural phrasing is 'Riding it was very good exercise' or 'Cycling was great exercise.' This fixes sentence structure and clarifies the subject.

× I think I usually go to the umm, medic medic because I fell down many times.

✓ I think I usually went to the doctor because I fell down many times.

The speaker refers to past habitual actions, so past tense 'went' fits better than present 'go.' Also replace 'medic medic' with 'doctor' and keep 'fell down' in past tense. Use 'usually went' for habitual past actions.

× My parents complained a lot about my bicycle.

✓ My parents complained a lot about my bicycle.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. It is retained to show there is no quantifier error. If improvement desired, one could say 'My parents often complained about my bicycle.'

× And they are popular mostly in the small towns where they are not public transportation.

✓ They are mostly popular in small towns where there is not much public transportation.

Use 'in small towns' (no article) and correct 'where they are not public transportation' to 'where there is not much public transportation.' 'There is' construction correctly introduces existence; 'much' quantifies uncountable noun 'public transportation.'

× Here in the big cities, I think it's kinda crowded with a little traffic jams.

✓ Here in the big cities, I think it's kind of crowded with a lot of traffic and frequent traffic jams.

Combine 'a little' with countable plural 'traffic jams' is wrong. Use 'a lot of traffic' (uncountable) and 'frequent traffic jams' for countable plural. Also expand 'kinda' to 'kind of' for clearer spoken-to-written correction.

× They are not a reservoir spaces for bicycles.

✓ There are not many reserved spaces for bicycles.

'Reservoir spaces' is incorrect collocation. Use 'reserved spaces' or 'parking spaces' and 'there are' to indicate existence. 'Many' quantifies plural 'spaces.' The corrected sentence uses 'reserved spaces for bicycles.'

× So I think here is kinda popular, but more than a small towns.

✓ So I think bicycles are somewhat popular here, but less so than in small towns.

Original has subject-verb and comparison issues: 'here is kinda popular' lacks a clear subject; compare 'more than a small towns' is ungrammatical. Clarify subject 'bicycles,' use 'somewhat popular here,' and correct comparative: 'less so than in small towns.' Avoid mixing singular/plural and include proper preposition 'in.'