Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on sentence accuracy, correct verb tenses, and clear organization. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct past tense and linking words. Avoid unnecessary or incorrect words (e.g., bag/price/rank) and keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). For example, say when you received the bike, why it was meaningful, and how you felt. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and past forms (received, was, got).

例: Yes, I did. I received my first bicycle from my father as a reward when I came first in my class when I was ten. Because it was my first big gift, I felt very proud and excited to ride it around the neighborhood. I used it almost every day to visit friends and explore nearby parks.

提案: Improve fluency by using clearer sentence structure, appropriate vocabulary, and linking words. Begin with a direct opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking phrases (for example, because, additionally). Correct collocations (say 'popular' or 'a common form of transport', 'environmentally friendly') and avoid filler words. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use present tense when discussing current popularity or past tense if referring to a time period.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in Indonesia. They have long been a common form of transport because they are affordable and easy to use, especially in smaller towns. Additionally, many people prefer bikes because they are environmentally friendly and help avoid traffic.

× I have a bag when I was child.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

The speaker uses incorrect article and noun choice for the context. 'A child' requires the indefinite article 'a' before 'child'. Also the sentence contradicts the examiner's question about having a bike by saying 'I have a bag'; likely intended is past tense 'had' and 'bike'. Use past tense 'had' to match 'when I was a child' and include 'a' before 'child'. Suggestion: use 'I had a bike when I was a child.'

× The first time I get a bicycle from my father when I as a gift.

✓ The first time I got a bicycle was when my father gave it to me as a gift.

Multiple past-tense errors: 'get' should be past 'got'; 'when I as a gift' is ungrammatical. Also passive/word order is wrong. Recast to past tense consistent sentence: 'The first time I got a bicycle was when my father gave it to me as a gift.' This uses past simple for completed past events and corrects word order and verb forms.

× When I get a rank one in my class.

✓ That happened after I got first place in my class.

'Get' should be past 'got' to match past context. 'Rank one' is unnatural; use 'first place' or 'ranked first'. Also make it a complete clause; 'That happened after I got first place in my class.' keeps consistent past tense and clearer meaning.

× I'm really happy to get this price.

✓ I was really happy to receive this prize.

Two issues: tense and word choice. 'I'm' (present) should be past 'I was' to describe a past feeling. 'Price' is the wrong word; 'prize' (award) is correct. Also 'to receive' sounds more natural than 'to get' in this context. Use 'I was really happy to receive this prize.'

× Absolutely yes. In my country Indonesia, bicycle, it's very famous transportations, especially uh, ten years ago, uh, because many people uh, can easily access easily, uh, use the bicycle and also environment finally.

✓ Absolutely. In my country, Indonesia, bicycles are a very popular form of transport, especially ten years ago, because many people could easily access and use bicycles, and it is also good for the environment.

Multiple grammar issues corrected while following allowed problem types: article/plural and preposition use. 'Bicycle' should be plural 'bicycles' to agree with 'many people' (singular/plural issue and subject-verb agreement). 'Transportations' is incorrect; use 'transport' or 'means of transport'. 'It's very famous transportations' is ungrammatical. Use 'are a very popular form of transport.' 'Can easily access easily' is redundant and 'access' needs an object; change to 'could easily access and use bicycles.' 'Finally' is incorrect here; replace with 'for the environment.' Also adjust tense 'could' to refer to past tendency 'ten years ago.' Include commas and remove filler words. Suggestion: 'bicycles are a very popular form of transport... good for the environment.'