Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, correct grammar, reduce fillers, and give one or two brief supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence, fix tense and noun errors, and avoid unnecessary hesitation. For example, say who bought it and one simple detail about learning to ride.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child my father bought me a pink bike to learn how to ride, and I practiced every weekend until I felt confident.

提案: Answer directly, correct word choice errors (e.g. 'bikes' not 'bags'), use linking words (because, for example), and give a specific reason or example. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid filler sounds. Mention shared bikes and convenience with a clear structure.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in my province, because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, shared bikes are common in cities, and many people use them to travel to work or the market.

× Yes, absolutely. When I was child I, uh, had a pink bag that is my father bought me to learn how to ride a bicycle.

✓ Yes, absolutely. When I was a child, I had a pink bike that my father bought me to learn how to ride.

Problems: missing article before 'child' (needs 'a'); word order and verb form errors in 'that is my father bought me'; wrong noun 'bag' likely intended 'bike'. Type: sentence structure and article errors. Suggestions: add the article 'a' before 'child'; change 'that is my father bought me' to the correct relative clause 'that my father bought me' or simply 'my father bought me'; use 'bike' instead of 'bag' if referring to a bicycle; add commas for clarity. Use: 'When I was a child, I had a pink bike that my father bought me to learn how to ride.'

× Yes, absolutely. The bags are really popular in my country, also in the province where are living uh, because the bicycle is one of the most uh umm, uh, convenient uh, transportation that can bring people to anywhere uh, where they nearby and uh uh, like the popular shared bikes.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Bikes are really popular in my country, especially in the province where I live, because the bicycle is one of the most convenient forms of transportation for short distances, such as the popular shared bikes.

Problems: incorrect noun 'bags' should be 'bikes'; incorrect word order 'where are living' should be 'where I live'; awkward noun phrase 'convenient transportation that can bring people to anywhere where they nearby' is ungrammatical. Type: incorrect use of pronouns and sentence structure. Suggestions: replace 'bags' with 'bikes' if talking about bicycles; use the correct subject pronoun and verb 'where I live'; express purpose/usage with 'for short distances' or 'for getting around nearby' rather than 'bring people to anywhere where they nearby'; streamline fillers like 'uh' and commas. A clearer sentence: 'Bikes are really popular in my country, especially in the province where I live, because they are a convenient way to travel short distances, for example the popular shared bikes.'