Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, use correct tense and a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and keep it within 3–4 sentences. For example, start with a direct answer (Yes, I did) then give when you learned, how you learned, and why it was memorable, using past tense consistently and linking words such as 'when' or 'because'.

例: Yes, I did. I learned to ride a bike when I was eight years old, and my father taught me in the park near our house. It was memorable because I finally felt independent and I used to cycle there every afternoon until sunset.

提案: Give a clear, direct opinion then support it with a concise, relevant reason and a specific example. Avoid irrelevant or unclear references (e.g., 'Dubai and other countries have their wars') and fix grammar and repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'therefore' and finish the thought in one or two supporting sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines because many people use them to save money on fuel and avoid traffic. For example, commuters and delivery riders often use motorcycles or bicycles for short trips around cities, especially when petrol prices rise.

× Yes, I have a bike and I remember when my childhood memories when it comes to bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike and I remember many childhood memories about it.

Issue type 6: Present tense issue. The student used present tense 'have' when the question asked about the past ('when you were a child'), so past tense 'had' is correct. The phrase 'I remember when my childhood memories when it comes to bike' is ungrammatical and redundant: 'remember' should directly take the object and 'when' is unnecessary. Use 'many childhood memories about it' or 'many memories of riding it' for clarity. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame (past) and simplify the noun phrase to avoid redundancy.

× I learned it when I'm 8 years old and it was really fun and memorable for me.

✓ I learned to ride it when I was 8 years old, and it was really fun and memorable for me.

Issue type 5: Past tense issue. The clause 'when I'm 8 years old' incorrectly uses present tense 'I'm' for a past time reference; use 'I was 8 years old'. Also, 'learned it' is vague; for bikes we say 'learned to ride it'. Keep the second clause 'it was really fun and memorable for me' in past tense as given. Suggestion: use 'learned to ride' and 'was' to match past timeframe.

× Yes, it is popular in our country, which is the Philippines, because nowadays when Dubai and other countries have their wars and conflicts, it affects our it will it will affect gasoline prices. So Filipinos are.

✓ Yes, they are popular in our country, the Philippines, because when other countries have wars and conflicts, it affects gasoline prices here, so Filipinos use bicycles more.

Issue type 27: Subject-verb agreement and related sentence structure errors. The original starts with 'it is popular' treating 'bikes' as singular; 'bikes' is plural so use 'they are popular'. The sentence 'it affects our it will it will affect gasoline prices' is garbled and mixes tenses and pronouns; simplify to 'it affects gasoline prices here'. The fragment 'So Filipinos are.' is incomplete; finish the thought, e.g., 'so Filipinos use bicycles more.' Suggestion: ensure plural subject matches verb, remove repeated phrases, keep consistent tense, and complete the sentence with the intended result.