Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate, concise, and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and article use, and add a brief specific detail. Avoid fillers like “uh” and repeating words. For example, use past simple: “My father bought me a bike when I was nine.” Then add one short supporting detail using a linking phrase (e.g., “I loved it because…”).

例: My father bought me a bike when I was nine. I enjoyed riding it to the park every weekend, and it helped me learn balance and independence quickly.

提案: Improve clarity, grammar, and coherence. Give a clear direct opinion, then support it with specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” or “for example”). Correct common errors: say “in my opinion,” “in major cities/provinces,” and use correct verb forms and articles. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country, especially in major cities. For example, many people use bicycles to commute to work because traffic is heavy and bikes are cheap and convenient.

× Yes uh, my father D buy one bike when when I was 9 year old.

✓ Yes, uh, my father bought a bike when I was nine years old.

The sentence uses an incorrect verb form 'buy' for a past event. Use the past tense 'bought' to match 'when I was nine years old.' Also remove duplicate 'when', add articles and commas, and write 'nine years old' for correct number and plural. Suggestion: use the simple past for completed actions in the past and check for repeated words and articles.

× Yes bikes are broken on my point, especially in the major province.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my opinion, especially in the major provinces.

The original has several issues: 'broken on my point' is incorrect wording; likely intended 'popular in my opinion.' 'Major province' should be plural if referring generally to large provinces, and 'major' describes 'provinces' so order is correct. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: use the phrase 'in my opinion' to express viewpoint and ensure plural agreement when speaking generally.

× A lot of people using bike every day to move your job and the space.

✓ A lot of people use bikes every day to travel to work and because of limited space.

The sentence incorrectly uses the present participle 'using' without an auxiliary; the simple present 'use' is needed for habitual actions. 'Bike' should be plural 'bikes' to agree with 'a lot of people.' 'Move your job and the space' is unclear; likely meant 'travel to work and because of limited space.' Suggestion: use simple present for habitual activities, match plural nouns with plural subjects, and choose accurate verbs/phrasing ('travel to work') for clarity.