Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer fully past tense and be concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid present-tense verbs when talking about the past and remove small hesitations or repetition.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I had a pink bike with feathers on the handlebars, and I adored it. Because it was light and easy to ride, I took it everywhere — to my friend’s house and to the park — so it became very special to me.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, use linking words, and give one or two specific reasons or examples. Replace vague phrases with precise vocabulary (e.g., "safe" instead of "Safeway") and remove filler words. Make sentences coherent and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are an inexpensive form of transport. In addition, they are environmentally friendly and do not produce air pollution; moreover, the government provides bike lanes and parking facilities to improve safety for cyclists.

× I have a beautiful pink bike with some feathers around its back.

✓ I had a beautiful pink bike with some feathers on its back.

The examiner asked about the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use past tense. Change 'have' (present) to 'had' and use the correct preposition 'on its back' for placement. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with the time frame and use 'on' for items attached to a part of the object.

× I adored it and took it wherever I went.

✓ I adored it and took it wherever I went.

This sentence is already correct in past tense and matches the time frame. No change needed. Explanation: 'adored' and 'took' are correct past-tense verbs that agree with the past context.

× Yes, actually people love to bike in my country because it's a cheap way of transportation.

✓ Yes, actually people love to ride bikes in my country because it's a cheap means of transportation.

'Bike' as a verb is acceptable, but in this context 'ride bikes' or 'cycling' is more natural. 'A cheap way of transportation' is awkward; use 'a cheap means of transportation' or 'an inexpensive way to travel'. Suggestion: use 'ride bikes' and 'means of transportation' for natural phrasing.

× It is also a very clean and Safeway uh, which cannot pollute the air and the government give the bikers multiple facilities to have safety.

✓ It is also very clean and safe; it does not pollute the air, and the government gives cyclists many facilities to ensure safety.

Multiple issues: 'Safeway' is incorrect—should be 'safe' (adjective). 'Which cannot pollute the air' is awkward; use 'it does not pollute the air' for clarity. Subject-verb agreement: 'the government give' should be 'the government gives'. 'Bikers' is acceptable but 'cyclists' is more formal. 'Multiple facilities to have safety' is unidiomatic—use 'many facilities to ensure safety'. Suggestions: replace 'Safeway' with 'safe', fix subject-verb agreement, and use more natural collocations like 'ensure safety' or 'safety measures'.

× and the government give the bikers multiple facilities to have safety.

✓ and the government gives cyclists many facilities to ensure safety.

The subject 'the government' is singular, so the verb must be singular: 'gives' not 'give'. Also improve noun choice ('cyclists') and phrasing ('ensure safety') for naturalness. Suggestion: always match verb number to the subject and prefer common collocations like 'ensure safety'.