Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question (Yes/No), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid hesitations and irrelevant phrases. Also use correct vocabulary (learn to ride, not learn to write) and correct grammar (past simple).

例: Yes, I did. My parents gave me a red bicycle for my eighth birthday, and I remember practicing every afternoon in the park until I could ride without training wheels. Because I was determined to master it quickly, I improved within a week and felt very proud.

提案: Answer directly and organize ideas logically. Begin with a clear opinion (Yes/No), then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because / so / therefore). Use precise vocabulary (transport, household trips, commute) and improve grammar (shorten redundant phrases).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country. Firstly, because many towns are small and distances are short, people often use bikes for short trips to work or shops. Secondly, bikes are cheap and convenient, so they remain a common mode of transport for daily errands.

× Oh, what's a memorable memory that was I had a bike, which, uh, is a birthday gift that my parents, uh, gave me.

✓ One memorable memory is that I had a bike which my parents gave me as a birthday gift.

The original sentence has an awkward and incorrect word order ('what's a memorable memory that was I had a bike') and unnecessary filler words. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Reorder the clause to a subject ('One memorable memory') + linking verb ('is') + content. Remove redundant 'that was' and move 'which' clause to correctly modify 'bike'. Use 'gave me as a birthday gift' to express purpose clearly.

× And I especially remember that I was trying hard to learn how to write a.

✓ And I especially remember that I tried hard to learn how to ride a bike.

The student used 'was trying' which is grammatically acceptable but the verb 'write' is incorrect for learning to use a bike—this is a lexical error but here treated as past tense/context (ID 5). Use simple past 'tried' for a completed past action and replace 'write' with 'ride' to match meaning. The structure 'remember that I tried' is more natural for recalling a completed effort.

× Uh, that's definitely because our country is not a big country.

✓ Yes. That's partly because our country is small.

The original is wordy and repetitive ('not a big country' twice implied). This is a sentence structure/style issue (ID 26). Use a concise adjective 'small' and a simple connective 'partly' or 'because' to make the reason clear and natural.

× People always, uh, reach to another, uh, home or houses or visiting via the bike, which is more convenient, uh, transportation tool.

✓ People often travel to other homes or visit places by bike because it is a more convenient means of transportation.

Multiple preposition and word choice errors: 'reach to another home' is incorrect—use 'travel to' or 'go to'. 'Or visiting' is ungrammatical; use 'visit places'. 'Via the bike' is awkward—use 'by bike'. Also 'transportation tool' is unnatural; use 'means of transportation'. These are primarily incorrect preposition and collocation issues (ID 11). Rearranged sentence for natural English.

× And, uh, so I think this is very popular for our.

✓ So I think biking is very popular in our country.

The original ends abruptly ('popular for our') and lacks an object; it's a sentence structure error (ID 26). Specify the subject 'biking' and complete the phrase 'in our country' to make the sentence grammatically and semantically complete.