Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid hesitations (uh, um) and repetition (I would, I would). Mention a concrete memory or example to make your answer vivid.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bike and I used to ride it every afternoon around my neighborhood. For example, I remember racing my friend to the park and feeling proud when I learned to ride without training wheels.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Fix grammar (tense and word order) and avoid repetition. Provide an example or brief evidence to strengthen your point.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because cycling has deep cultural roots here. For instance, Italy hosts famous races like the Giro d'Italia, and many people commute or exercise by bike in both cities and towns.

× Yes, uh, I did and uh, I remember having uh, such a great fun, uh, each time I would, I would write it and umm, if I think about it nowadays, uh, it brings me back fond memories of.

✓ Yes, I did, and I remember having such great fun; each time I would ride it, and when I think about it nowadays, it brings back fond memories.

Errors: 'having ... a great fun' is incorrect article and noun usage (should be 'having great fun' or 'having a great time') — this fits 'Verb + -ing form' because 'having' is used with incorrect following noun form and article. 'write it' is a wrong verb; context requires 'ride it' (verb choice). Also awkward filler words and punctuation. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary fillers, use 'having great fun' or 'having a great time', replace 'write' with 'ride', and join clauses clearly with correct punctuation so the sentence reads fluently.

× Indeed, they are extremely popular because cycling is always had deep roots to to Italy and Italy is also home to well known and acclaimed cyclists.

✓ Indeed, they are extremely popular because cycling has deep roots in Italy, and Italy is also home to well-known, acclaimed cyclists.

Errors: 'always had deep roots to to Italy' is wrong preposition and tense; correct phrase is 'has deep roots in Italy' — this matches 'Incorrect use of prepositions'. Also 'always had' is unnecessary and conflicts with present-tense general statement; use present 'has'. 'Well known' needs a hyphen when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Suggestion: Use 'has deep roots in Italy' for correct preposition and tense, hyphenate compound adjectives, and remove duplicate word 'to'.