Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable and directly answers the question, but it contains hesitations (“uh”) and a slightly awkward clause. To improve, remove filler words, use one clear topic sentence, and add one brief supporting detail (e.g., where you rode it or a memory) using a linking word to make it more natural and informative. Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. My father bought it for me for my seventh birthday, and I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon. Because the area was quiet, I felt confident practicing new tricks and learning to ride on busy streets later.

提案: Your response attempts to answer but is repetitive and slightly confusing (contradiction at the end). To improve, state your main opinion clearly in one sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, furthermore). Avoid repeating the word ‘bike’ or mixing terms. Be concise and specific about which groups prefer cars and why.

例: No, bicycles are not very popular in my country. For example, many adults prefer cars because public transport is unreliable and distances can be long, and older people often find cycling difficult. Therefore, cycling is mainly common among students and fitness enthusiasts rather than the general population.

× I used to have a bicycle when I was a child, uh, which was, uh, bought by my father.

✓ I used to have a bicycle when I was a child that my father bought.

The relative clause 'which was bought by my father' uses a passive past participle construction that is grammatical but wordy and unnatural in this context. Using the active past tense 'that my father bought' is more natural and concise. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity. Suggestion: prefer active clauses for simple actions (my father bought) and avoid unnecessary 'which was' passive forms.

× I think that bikes are not much popular in our country as when even among the adults, compared to other countries, bicycles are less popular among all age groups, especially elders.

✓ I think bikes are not very popular in our country. Even among adults, compared with other countries, bicycles are less popular across all age groups, especially among older people.

Multiple issues: 'not much popular' is incorrect — use 'not very popular' (adverb/adjective collocation). 'as when even among the adults' is ungrammatical and unclear; separate into two sentences and use 'Even among adults'. 'Compared to other countries' is better as 'compared with other countries' or placed earlier; 'among all age groups' is fine but 'especially elders' should be 'especially among older people' or 'elderly' with care. Suggestion: simplify sentence structure, use correct collocations ('not very popular'), correct preposition 'among older people', and split into shorter sentences for clarity.

× They prefer travelling by car or a bike.

✓ They prefer travelling by car or by bike.

The original mixes articles and is slightly inconsistent: 'a bike' after 'car' is awkward in a parallel structure. Use parallel prepositional phrases 'by car or by bike' to maintain consistency. Also 'travelling' vs 'traveling' is spelling variant; keep consistent regional spelling. Suggestion: maintain parallel structure with repeated preposition for clarity.