Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response clear, grammatical and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No) and then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and simple sentence structures, and avoid repetition. For example, say who bought it, what kind of bike it was, and one short memory about using it. Use linking words like because or when to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a small blue bike when I was six, and I used to ride it every day in the park near our house. It was a simple, single-speed bike, and I remember learning to balance with my friends until I became confident.

提案: Give a clear opinion followed by specific reasons and examples. Correct basic grammar (use 'are'/'is', 'because', plural forms) and organize your answer: state your view, then two specific reasons, and a brief example. Use linking words (because, for example, so) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because they are inexpensive and convenient for short trips. For example, many older people use bikes to go to the market or visit neighbors, since they are easy to ride and cheaper than motorbikes.

× Sure I had I have a haze by what I had what I tried. My father was buy this for me so.

✓ Sure. I had a bicycle when I was a child. My father bought it for me.

The original contains multiple sentence structure issues: repeated fragments and unclear words ('haze', 'by', 'tried') that do not fit. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Also the verb 'was buy' is incorrect past tense (should be 'bought') which is a past tense issue (ID 5), and 'a haze' and 'BY' are likely spelling errors intended to be 'a bicycle'/'bike'. Suggestion: simplify into clear sentences, use correct past simple for completed actions ('had', 'bought'), and use the correct noun 'bicycle' or 'bike'.

× In my opinion, I think BY is a popular in my country because it convenient and comfortable especially for the elderly.

✓ In my opinion, I think bikes are popular in my country because they are convenient and comfortable, especially for the elderly.

Problems include incorrect noun form and articles ('a popular' is wrong) and missing linking verb 'are' before 'convenient' — these are present tense and subject-verb structure issues (ID 6). Also 'BY' seems to be a typo for 'bikes' and 'it' should be 'they' to agree with the plural subject (subject-verb agreement, ID 27). Suggestion: use the plural noun 'bikes', add 'are' to describe qualities ('they are convenient'), and include a comma before the phrase 'especially for the elderly'. Use consistent present simple when stating general facts.

× The elderly days of they often use it to commute from markets and schools to a home to their home.

✓ Elderly people often use them to commute from markets and schools to their homes.

There is incorrect pronoun use and awkward wording. 'They' is misplaced and 'it' does not agree with plural 'bikes'; 'a home to their home' is redundant. This is an incorrect use of pronouns error (ID 12) and also a plural/singular issue (ID 1). Suggestion: use 'elderly people' as the subject, 'them' to refer to 'bikes', and 'their homes' for plural possessive. Keep the sentence concise: 'commute from markets and schools to their homes'.