Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, with a direct topic sentence and specific detail (age and color). To improve, make the response more natural by reducing redundancy and using smoother phrasing. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences and add a brief reason or memory to enrich the answer. Use linking words like “and” or “so” sparingly and appropriately.

例: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a blue bike when I was five, and I loved riding it around our neighborhood. I remember practicing until I could ride without training wheels, which made me feel very proud.

提案: The answer addresses the question but is repetitive and contains hesitations and grammar errors (“there are some competitor like cyclists”, unclear reference). Improve by giving a clear topic sentence, one or two specific reasons or examples, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., “competitions” or “competitive cycling”) and avoid filler words.

例: Yes, definitely. Bicycling has grown in popularity recently, partly because of international cycling competitions and improved bike lanes in cities. As a result, more people cycle for leisure and commuting, especially younger adults and students.

× So it is because of that that is becoming even more popular every day.

✓ So it is because of that that they are becoming even more popular every day.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject for the verb 'is becoming.' In the previous sentence the subject is 'They' (bikes), so the verb should agree: 'they are becoming.' This fixes subject-verb agreement and provides a correct present progressive structure. Suggestion: explicitly include the subject (they) before the auxiliary verb 'are.'

× it had a blue color.

✓ it was blue.

Saying 'had a blue color' is grammatically possible but awkward and not idiomatic in this context. Using the adjective 'was blue' is more natural for describing appearance. Suggestion: use 'was blue' or 'had blue paint' if you mean the finish/material.

× there, there are some competitor like cyclists that have been popular all around the world.

✓ there are some competitors, like cyclists, who have been popular all around the world.

Multiple issues: doubled filler 'there, there' is unnecessary; 'competitor' should be plural ('competitors') to match 'some'; 'like cyclists' should be set off with commas; use 'who' for people ('cyclists') instead of 'that.' Suggestion: remove extra 'there,' pluralize 'competitors,' and use 'who' for people.

× They are pretty popular nowadays. Uh, there, there are some competitor like cyclists that have been popular all around the world.

✓ They are pretty popular nowadays. For example, some competitors, like cyclists, have been popular all around the world.

The original contains redundancy, disfluency ('Uh, there, there'), and unclear logical connection. Replacing filler with a linking phrase ('For example') clarifies the relationship. Also fix pluralization and relative pronoun as noted. Suggestion: remove fillers and use clear connectors like 'for example' or 'because' depending on intended meaning.