Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (umm, like) and small repetition. Also correct slight inaccuracy: use either "electric bike" or "electric bicycle" instead of "electrical like electronic bikes."

例: Yes. I had a bicycle during secondary school and rode it to school for about two years, from grade eight to grade nine. Later, when I started high school, I switched to an electric bike because it was faster and required less effort for the longer commute.

提案: Make your response more structured: a direct opinion sentence, followed by specific reasons and an example. Remove repetition and filler words, and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "popular among young people" rather than "younger people are adapting"). Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, bikes have become more popular in my country, especially among young people, because cycling is an easy way to exercise and avoid traffic. For example, many people now ride around Hoan Kiem Lake in Hanoi in the mornings as part of their daily routine.

× Yes, I used to have a bike when I was in secondary school and umm, I would use the bike to ride to school for about like 2 years from grades eight to grade 9.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike when I was in secondary school, and I used the bike to ride to school for about two years, from grade eight to grade nine.

Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue. The original mixes 'used to' and 'would' awkwardly to describe past habitual action; while 'would' can describe past habits, repeating 'used to' plus 'would' is redundant. Also 'for about like 2 years' is colloquial and numeric forms should be written out in formal responses, and 'grades eight to grade 9' is inconsistent in form. Suggest using a single past habitual form ('used to') and consistent number formatting: 'two years' and 'grade eight to grade nine'.

× After that, umm I changed to an electrical like electronic bikes in uh high school.

✓ After that, I switched to an electric bike in high school.

Grammar problem type ID:8 Verb + -ing form and ID:22 Article errors. 'Changed to' is possible but 'switched to' is more natural. 'Electrical like electronic bikes' is incorrect and redundant; use 'electric bike' (adjective 'electric' not 'electrical' for vehicles). Also singular 'bike' fits the context, so use the indefinite article 'an' before 'electric bike'. Remove filler words. Suggest: 'I switched to an electric bike in high school.'

× It is definitely, they are definitely more popular now in my country, people tend to, uh, ride a bicycle around the lake in Hanoi, Umm, So it's kind of like a popular form of exercise that umm, younger people are adapting to their daily routines.

✓ Bicycles are definitely more popular now in my country. People tend to ride around the lake in Hanoi, so cycling has become a popular form of exercise that younger people are adopting into their daily routines.

Grammar problem type ID:27 Subject-verb agreement and ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns. The original begins with 'It is definitely, they are definitely', which is inconsistent and unclear: choose a clear subject ('Bicycles are definitely more popular now'). 'Ride a bicycle around the lake' is fine but can be streamlined to 'ride around the lake'. 'Adapting to their daily routines' is incorrect collocation; the correct verb is 'adopt' (or 'incorporate') and the correct preposition is 'into', so 'adopting into their daily routines' or better 'incorporating into'. Also punctuation and filler words should be removed for clarity. Suggest using consistent plural subject and correct verb 'adopting into' or 'incorporating into'.