Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammar and be concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, use past tense, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking phrase if adding details (e.g., “Yes, I did. I had a bicycle when I was about eight because…”). Avoid repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., ‘children’ → ‘a child’, ‘have’ → ‘had’, ‘buy’ → ‘bike’).

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bike when I was about eight, which I used to ride to the park every weekend because my parents wanted me to play outside.

提案: Give a direct answer and follow it with a clear reason and specific example. Use present tense for current popularity. Remove filler words (uh, umm). Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct word forms (e.g., ‘by’ → ‘be’, ‘my country… big’ is unclear — explain what ‘big’ means or use a better reason like ‘population’ or ‘cycling culture’). Keep to 1–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and commuting. For example, in my city you can see crowded bike lanes at rush hour, especially among students and workers.

× When I was children I have a buy.

✓ When I was a child I had a bike.

Errors: 'children' is plural while subject refers to singular time period 'I was' so should be 'a child' (Grammar Problem Type 12). 'have' is present tense but speaking about past, so use past tense 'had' (Grammar Problem Type 5). 'buy' is incorrect word choice likely a misspelling of 'bike'. Suggestions: Use 'When I was a child' for singular; change present 'have' to past 'had' to match past time reference; correct 'buy' to 'bike'. Ensure subject and noun number agree and verb tense matches time frame. Note: Combined corrections address both pronoun/noun number and past tense issues.

× Ah, yes, of course, uh, I think by a popular in my country because umm, my country, umm, it was very, very big.

✓ Ah, yes, of course. I think bikes are popular in my country because there are a lot of them and cycling is common.

Errors: 'by a popular' is ungrammatical and seems to intend 'be popular' or 'bikes are popular' — this is a problem with article and verb choice and noun number (Grammar Problem Type 1 and 17). The student also uses 'my country, umm, it was very, very big' — awkward pronoun repetition and incorrect past tense 'was' when meaning general present fact (Grammar Problem Type 6 and 12). Suggestions: Use a clear subject 'bikes' and the present tense verb 'are' to state a general fact: 'bikes are popular'. Avoid repeating the subject and pronoun; say 'in my country' then give reason in present tense: 'because there are a lot of them' or 'because cycling is common'. Keep tense consistent for general truths (present simple).