Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, tense consistency and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like “uh.” For example, say when you had the bike, what kind it was, and a short reason or result.

例: Yes. I had a bicycle when I was eight, and I rode it for several years. However, it broke after I used it a lot, so I stopped riding it regularly.

提案: Answer directly and use present tense when talking about current popularity. Use linking words to connect ideas and give a specific example or comparison. Avoid vague phrases like “a lot” and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country today. For example, many children ride bicycles to school, and in large cities there are dedicated bike lanes that encourage cycling.

× Yes I do have a bike when I was 8 and later on. Uh, the bike is broken.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was eight and later on. Uh, the bike is broken now.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses. The student refers to having a bike in childhood, so past simple 'had' should be used instead of present 'do have'. Use 'was eight' remains past. The second part 'the bike is broken' can stay present if the bike is currently broken; add 'now' to clarify time. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using past for past events and present for current states.

× Actually it did when I was 8. There's a lot. There's a bunch of boys and girls playing bike everywhere.

✓ Actually, there were a lot when I was eight. There were lots of boys and girls riding bikes everywhere.

The original uses 'did' incorrectly to refer to popularity and mixes singular/plural forms. Use past 'there were' for existence in the past. 'A lot' is vague; 'lots' or 'a lot of people' is better. 'Playing bike' is unidiomatic; the correct verb is 'riding bikes'. Also make number agreement consistent: 'boys and girls' plural, so plural verb 'were' is required. Suggestion: use 'there were' + plural noun and 'riding bikes' to describe activity.