Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two brief supporting reasons. Correct grammar (use 'a two-wheeler' or 'two-wheeler' and avoid unnecessary phrases). Use linking words if adding detail (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Keep it to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I was afraid of riding two-wheelers, so my parents never bought one for me. As a result, I mostly walked or took the bus to school.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear direct opinion, then one or two specific reasons. Remove fillers ('uh', repeated words) and improve grammar (e.g., 'it is cold and snowy most of the year'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'however' to connect ideas. Keep sentences short and precise.

例: Bikes are not very popular in the country where I live. Because it is snowy and cold for most of the year, cycling is unsafe and people prefer cars with snow tires. However, during the two summer months I sometimes see a few cyclists on the roads.

× No, I didn't have a bike while I was a child as I'm afraid of riding bicycles a two Wheeler.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I was afraid of riding two-wheelers.

The sentence mixes tenses and uses awkward pronouns and phrases. 'While I was a child' is acceptable but 'when I was a child' is more natural. 'as I'm afraid' mixes present with past context; change to 'because I was afraid' to match past tense. 'riding bicycles a two Wheeler' is incorrect word order and form; use 'riding two-wheelers'. Suggestions: keep past tense consistently for past situations, use 'because' for reasons, and use correct noun form 'two-wheelers'.

× Now I live in a country where bikes are very unpopular as it's uh is winter almost all the time of the year and while it's snow you can't even drive a car without the snow tires so bike is very dangerous.

✓ Now I live in a country where bikes are not very popular because it is winter almost all year, and when it snows you can't even drive a car without snow tires, so riding a bike is very dangerous.

Problems include tense and verb form errors and awkward phrases. 'Very unpopular' is better expressed as 'not very popular'. 'as it's uh is winter almost all the time of the year' mixes fillers and incorrect structure; use 'because it is winter almost all year'. 'while it's snow' is incorrect; use 'when it snows'. 'without the snow tires' should be 'without snow tires' (no article). 'so bike is very dangerous' needs article and gerund: 'so riding a bike is very dangerous'. Suggestions: use 'when it snows' for weather conditions, omit filler words, and ensure articles and gerunds are correct.

× So it's not common but it in two months of summer I can see rarely.

✓ So bikes are not common, but during the two months of summer I can rarely see them.

The original has word order and pronoun reference issues. 'So it's not common' is vague; specify 'bikes are not common'. 'but it in two months of summer I can see rarely' has incorrect placement of adverb and pronoun; correct order is 'during the two months of summer I can rarely see them.' Suggestions: place adverbs like 'rarely' before the main verb, use 'during' for periods, and make pronouns agree with their antecedents.