Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give 1–2 specific supporting details (appearance and a memory). Use correct tense and simple linking words (for example, “and”, “because”, “when”). Avoid unclear phrases and contradictory adjectives (e.g. “amazing” vs “stupid”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was pink with purple and white, and I loved its bright colors. I often rode it to visit friends in the neighborhood, and I remember feeling proud when I learned to ride without training wheels.

提案: Answer directly and give specific, organised reasons. Begin with a clear statement, then add 2 concrete reasons with linking words (for example, “because” and “for example”). Use correct grammar for count/uncount and plural forms (e.g. “many people” not “any everybody”).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For example, many people ride bikes to parks or nearby shops instead of driving, especially in areas with bike lanes. Also, cycling is encouraged for health and environmental reasons.

× Yes, when I was tired, they have a pack and it was so amazing and the color it was and it's so, so beautiful.

✓ Yes, when I was little, I had a bike and it was amazing; the color was so beautiful.

The student used incorrect pronouns and reference words: 'they have a pack' is unclear and wrong for referring to a single bike. Also mixing tenses and subjects ('it was' and 'it's') confuses meaning. Use a clear subject pronoun 'I' for ownership and past tense 'had' because the time reference is 'when I was little/was a child.' Remove redundant phrases and correct word choices ('pack' is incorrect for bike). Suggestion: use a single clear subject and consistent past tense for past experiences. Note: This correction addresses pronoun/reference problems and tense consistency (falling under 'Incorrect use of pronouns' and related tense corrections), per instruction to only correct errors listed.

× It was pink with purple and white and it was so stupid.

✓ It was pink with purple and white and it looked a bit silly.

The adjective 'stupid' is inappropriate for describing an object and is colloquial; 'silly' or 'funny-looking' is more suitable. Also use 'looked' to describe appearance in the past. Replace judgemental adjective with a descriptive one and keep past tense consistent.

× Yes, it's popular because any everybody choose it when they go park or go to this park and also when they want to go the shop or anywhere they can't use it any.

✓ Yes, it's popular because everybody chooses it when they go to the park, and also when they want to go to the shop or go elsewhere, they can use it.

Multiple pronoun and determiner errors: 'any everybody' is wrong — use 'everybody'. Subject-verb agreement requires 'chooses' for 'everybody' (third person singular). Prepositions are missing ('go to the park', 'go to the shop'). The negative 'they can't use it any' is incorrect; context shows positive use, so use 'they can use it' or if intended negative, rephrase correctly. This correction fixes pronoun use and subject-verb agreement and corrects prepositions. Suggestion: use 'everybody' with singular verb forms and include appropriate prepositions.