Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, clear and grammatical. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct verbs and linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and unclear phrases like "writing" and "learning the writing method." Say who taught you, when, and how you felt. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mother taught me to ride when I was about seven, using training wheels at first and then helping me balance. After a few days of practice I felt confident and rode around my neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: Give a clear, well-supported opinion and avoid inaccurate or insensitive statements. Use linking words (because, however, for example) and provide specific reasons or exceptions. If social or cultural factors affect bike use, describe them precisely and diplomatically. Correct grammar: say "bicycles are not very popular" and explain why with concrete details.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. This is partly because many people prefer motorbikes or cars for convenience, and in some conservative areas women feel less encouraged to cycle. However, cycling is becoming more common among younger people who value exercise and environmental benefits.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. Uh, I would writing uh, the bike, uh, the first time my mom, uh, learned the writing method.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I would write on the bike the first time my mom taught me the writing method.

The phrase 'I would writing' is incorrect because 'would' should be followed by the base form of a verb (would + base verb). Also 'learned' is wrong in context: the mother performed the action of teaching, so use 'taught'. Use 'write on the bike' if the intended meaning is practicing writing while on or with the bike. Suggestion: after modal-like 'would' use the base verb 'write'; change 'learned' to 'taught' to reflect who did the teaching.

× No, it is not popular in my country because our country is so religious country and girls don't uh, have law or ride biking.

✓ No, they are not very popular in my country because our country is very religious, and many girls are not allowed to ride bikes.

Several pronoun and noun reference issues: 'it is not popular' should refer to 'bikes' (plural) so use 'they are not'. The phrase 'so religious country' needs an article and adjective order: 'very religious'. 'Girls don't ... have law' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is that girls are not allowed, so use 'are not allowed to ride bikes' or 'many girls are not allowed to ride bikes'. Also 'ride biking' is redundant; use 'ride bikes'. Suggestions: keep subject-verb agreement by matching plural noun 'bikes' with 'they are', replace incorrect phrase with 'are not allowed', and simplify 'ride bikes'.