Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子总体信息完整，但表达略冗长且有重复（如 "to be honest" 与多次说明时间）。建议开门见山地给出身份，然后简要补充计划。注意时态和连贯性，用连接词使信息更紧凑。可以把不必要的短语删掉并使用更自然的句子结构。

例: I'm a recent graduate—I finished my bachelor's last month. I don't work at the moment because I'll start a master's program in Robotics at the University of Birmingham this September.

提案: 回答直接且包含关键信息，但口语中出现犹豫语（"Umm"）和重复（两次提到本科）。建议一句话交代学校和地点，接着用另一短句说明专业，避免犹豫词，保持流畅。

例: I studied at Nanchang University in Jiangxi province, China. My undergraduate major was Vehicle Engineering.

提案: 回答有观点并给出理由，但存在重复（"really" 多次）和语法小问题（如介词使用）。建议使用更具体的描述和流畅的连接词，控制句子数量（不超过五句），并用更丰富的词汇替代重复词。

例: Yes, it's a very pleasant place to study because the campus is beautiful. There are three lakes and wooded areas, which create a peaceful environment for studying and relaxing.

提案: 回答表达不清且有严重语法和代词错误（用"he"指代图书馆，不连贯的句子）。建议先明确想改变什么（例如交通或布局），然后简要给出原因和一个可行的改进方案。使用清晰的句子和恰当的代词。

例: Yes. I would improve the library's layout and accessibility because the current building is tall and the stacks are hard to reach. For example, adding more elevators and clearer signs would make it easier for students to find books.

提案: 信息明确但有重复与小语法问题（"major of robotics" 和重复表达想法）。建议用一两句清晰表述目标与原因，并用更精确的词汇说明兴趣领域（如 "mechanical engineering" 或 "mechanical systems"）。避免冗余。

例: I'll start a master's program in Robotics at the University of Birmingham this September. I'm choosing Robotics because I'm passionate about mechanical systems and automation, and I want to develop skills in robot design and control.

× Yes, I want to change the library on my university because I think he's not convenient for our students because he's a tall building is a tall building and we need to take left.

✓ Yes, I want to change the library at my university because I think it's not convenient for students; it's a tall building and we have to walk far/turn left to get there.

原句中有多处代词和表达错误： 1) 使用介词短语“on my university”不自然，正确应为“at my university”（地点介词）。 2) 用法“he's”指代图书馆不合适，英语中无生命名词通常用“it”。 3) 原句“he's a tall building is a tall building”重复且语法混乱，应为“It’s a tall building”。 4) “we need to take left” 不地道，应表达为“we have to turn left”或“we have to walk a long way/ it’s a long walk”。 改进建议：使用正确的地点介词“at”，用“it”指代无生命物，避免重复句子成分，按英语习惯表达“必须左转/需要走很远”。

× My undergraduate university is Nanchang University. It is located in Jiangxi province of China, Umm, and my undergraduate major is Vehicle Engineering.

✓ My undergraduate university is Nanchang University. It is located in Jiangxi Province, China, and my undergraduate major was Vehicle Engineering.

问题主要是冠词和时态： 1) 地名“Jiangxi province”中的“province”作为专有地名的一部分应大写为“Province”。 2) 在列举地点时一般写作“Jiangxi Province, China”。 3) 因为学生已经毕业，描述本科专业用过去时更合适："my undergraduate major was Vehicle Engineering"。 改进建议：注意专有名词大写和与时间一致的时态。

× Yes, I think it is really a good place to study because the campus landscape is really fascinating and there are three lakes in the campus and also forest in my university.

✓ Yes, I think it is a really good place to study because the campus landscape is fascinating: there are three lakes and also a forest on campus.

原句结构重复冗长、介词使用不当： 1) “in the campus”和“in my university”用法不自然，通常用“on campus”。 2) 重复使用“really”和“and”使句子冗余，建议简化为“is a really good place”并用冒号或分句列举景观。 3) “also forest”缺冠词，应为“also a forest”。 改进建议：合并信息，使用固定搭配“on campus”，注意冠词使用。

× To be honest, I'm a fresh graduate. I got my bachelor's degree last month, and I plan to pursue my master's degree at the University of Birmingham in the United Kingdom this September, so I'm not working at present.

✓ To be honest, I'm a recent graduate. I got my bachelor's degree last month, and I plan to pursue my master's degree at the University of Birmingham in the United Kingdom this September, so I'm not working at present.

主要是词汇和表达习惯问题： 1) 虽然“a fresh graduate”不是严重语法错，但英语中更常用“a recent graduate”或“recently graduated”。 2) 其他部分时态和结构都是合理的（过去时描述拿学位，计划使用现在时/将来）。 改进建议：使用地道表达“recent graduate”或“I've just graduated”。

× I'm planning to pursue my master's degree at the University of Birmingham in the United Kingdom this September and I want to choose the major of robotics because I'm really interested in mechanical, so I want to choose robotics as my major.

✓ I'm planning to pursue my master's degree at the University of Birmingham in the United Kingdom this September, and I want to major in Robotics because I'm really interested in mechanics, so I want to study robotics.

原句存在重复和词汇搭配错误： 1) “choose the major of robotics”不自然，通常说“major in Robotics”或“study Robotics”。 2) “interested in mechanical”搭配错误，应为“interested in mechanics”或“mechanical engineering”。 3) 多次重复“choose/major/robotics”，应简化表达以避免冗余。 改进建议：使用固定搭配“major in”或“study”，并用正确名词“mechanics”或“mechanical engineering”。