Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and small grammatical errors (e.g., "from old money" → "old-money style").

例: I enjoy mixing different styles, especially chic and old-money styles. For example, I often pair a tailored blazer with classic loafers because it looks polished yet modern, and it helps me express my personality.

提案: Give a direct answer first and limit to two supporting reasons. Avoid repetition and vague phrases (e.g., "start casual calls"). Use linking words like "because" and "also" and choose appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "comfortable" and "stylish").

例: I prefer casual clothes because they are comfortable and still look stylish. For example, a neat T-shirt and jeans let me move freely and appear relaxed but put-together.

提案: Answer directly and give one clear reason with a linking word. Remove fillers and correct grammar (e.g., "an attractive piece of clothing"). Mention a brief example to support your point.

例: I usually avoid wearing T-shirts in public, but I like them at home because they are comfortable and easy to sleep in. For example, I often wear a soft cotton T-shirt when relaxing or studying at home.

提案: Start with a direct short answer and give specific reasons and an example. Avoid exaggeration like "Infinity" and reduce fillers. Use linking words such as "because" and "so" coherently.

例: Yes, I do spend a lot of time choosing outfits because I enjoy styling clothes to express myself. For instance, I often try several combinations before going out, which makes my friends wait.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Remove hesitations and be concise (max 3–4 sentences). Mention a concrete example of mood-based outfits.

例: My style doesn't depend on the day; it depends on my mood. For example, if I feel playful I might mix streetwear and vintage pieces, while on a formal day I choose a neat blouse and trousers.

提案: Be clearer and avoid confusing or invented words (e.g., "acid colours", "comb", "indica"). Start with a topic sentence naming the colours you prefer, then add one specific rule or example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., "bright colours", "pastels") and avoid unclear numeric references.

例: I prefer bright and classic colours, such as blue, red and white, and I also like black for basics. For example, I usually limit an outfit to no more than three colours to keep it balanced.

× Well, honestly, I love some different styles combining all together.

✓ Well, honestly, I love combining different styles together.

The original uses 'love some different styles combining all together' which misplaces the gerund phrase and includes an unnecessary 'some'. Use 'love combining different styles together' where 'combining' correctly follows 'love' as a gerund object and 'some' is removed for clarity.

× For example, mixing, uh, something from chic style and from old money.

✓ For example, mixing something from chic style and old-money style.

The phrase 'from chic style and from old money' uses 'from' awkwardly and 'old money' should be adjectival. Use 'mixing something from chic style and old-money style' to correctly link the sources and form a compound style description.

× I like wearing clothes because it's not just umm, the way to wear something, but it's just a way, uh, to express yourself.

✓ I like wearing clothes because it's not just a way to put things on, but a way to express myself.

The original switches between 'yourself' and the speaker perspective. Maintain first-person perspective: 'express myself'. Also 'the way to wear something' is awkward; 'a way to put things on' or simply 'a way to dress' is clearer.

× Honestly, I prefer neither of these options, but if I had to choose I'd rather go with casual clothes because it's quite comfortable and it can look good and at the same time you can start casual calls to express yourself and to look more pretty and more stylish and fashionable.

✓ Honestly, I prefer neither option, but if I had to choose I'd go with casual clothes because they are comfortable, can look good, and let you express yourself and look prettier, more stylish, and fashionable.

Multiple issues: 'neither of these options' is wordy; 'I'd rather go with' redundant with 'if I had to choose'. Subject-verb agreement: 'casual clothes' is plural so use 'they are'. 'start casual calls' is incorrect—likely 'start casual looks' or 'appear casual'; I used 'let you express yourself'. Also streamline repetitive adjectives and correct comparative 'more pretty' to 'prettier'.

× I don't really like wearing T-shirts in public.

✓ I don't really like wearing T-shirts in public.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Included only to show it was checked.

× However, I enjoy wearing T-shirts at home, like instead of my pajamas 'cause it's quite convenient and umm, attractive piece of clothes.

✓ However, I enjoy wearing T-shirts at home instead of my pajamas because they're convenient and an attractive piece of clothing.

Use 'because' instead of informal ''cause'. 'Piece of clothes' should be 'piece of clothing' and agree in number: 'they're' for T-shirts. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× Well, honestly, unfortunately, yes, I can spend Infinity on choosing my outfit.

✓ Well, honestly, unfortunately, yes, I can spend ages choosing my outfit.

'Spend Infinity' is incorrect. Use quantifiers like 'ages' or 'a lot of time' to express hyperbole. 'Spend ages choosing my outfit' is idiomatic.

× Uh, because I love styling my clothes and I love not just to wear my clothes but to express myself with it.

✓ Because I love styling my clothes and not just wearing them but expressing myself through them.

Pronoun agreement: 'clothes' is plural so use 'them' not 'it'. Also verb form: use gerund 'wearing' after 'love' for parallel structure; 'expressing myself through them' is clearer.

× So my friends are always complaining about waiting for me for ages.

✓ So my friends are always complaining about having to wait for me for ages.

Original is understandable but awkward. Use 'complaining about having to wait for me' to express reason; maintains plural subject with correct structure.

× I can't say that my style depends on the day of the week.

✓ I can't say that my style depends on the day of the week.

Sentence is correct; included to indicate it was checked.

× However, what I can say is that, umm, my style is mostly connected to my mood, so I really do like, uh, some experiments with the styles and combining two or three different styles together at the same outfit.

✓ However, what I can say is that my style is mostly connected to my mood, so I really like experimenting with styles and combining two or three different styles in the same outfit.

Use gerund 'experimenting' after 'like'. 'Some experiments with the styles' is awkward; 'experimenting with styles' is concise. 'At the same outfit' is wrong preposition and article; use 'in the same outfit'.

× I don't really like some acid colours, what I like is some comb, but at the same time bright colours like indica, blue, rose, red and scarlet and of course some basic colours as black and white.

✓ I don't really like acid colors; I prefer bright colors like indigo, blue, rose, red, and scarlet, and of course basics like black and white.

Replace 'some' and awkward clauses; 'what I like is some comb' unclear—interpreted as 'I prefer'. Correct 'indica' to 'indigo'. Use plural 'colors' consistently. Use semicolon or short sentence to separate ideas.

× And also I have my own pool for my outfits. It shouldn't contain more than three colours at 1:00.

✓ I also have my own palette for my outfits. It shouldn't contain more than three colors at once.

'Pool' is incorrect for color selection; 'palette' fits. 'At 1:00' is wrong; likely 'at once'. Replace with 'at once' and standardize 'colors' spelling.