Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, organize ideas with linking words, correct grammar, and be more specific. Limit to 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition. For example, start with a direct statement of preference, explain why (specific influences), then describe how your environment affected you with a linking word (e.g., however).

例: I prefer wearing short skirts in a Japanese and Korean style because I admire K-pop artists. However, after moving here I noticed few people wear short skirts, so at first I felt embarrassed. Despite that, I still enjoy this style because it reflects my personality and makes me feel confident.

提案: Start with a clear preference sentence, use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'smart clothes' not 'smart grass'), and use linking words like 'because' or 'however' to explain reasons. Be specific about contexts and avoid vague phrases.

例: I generally prefer smart clothes when I'm in Japan because people pay attention to appearance. However, after I moved to Christchurch I found most people dress casually in jerseys, so now I often choose comfortable clothes for everyday wear.

提案: Answer directly and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'too plain' instead of 'too simple'). Explain briefly with a linked reason and give an example of when you do wear T-shirts. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I don't usually like wearing plain T-shirts because I find them too simple. I prefer clothes with frills or decorative details, so I only wear basic T-shirts at home or as pajamas.

提案: Begin with a clear statement, explain why with specific details, and use linking words like 'so' or 'because'. Correct unclear words (e.g., 'friends' not 'horses') and give a concise example of how you decide clothing choices.

例: Yes, I spend a lot of time choosing clothes because I'm indecisive. I usually ask my mother or my friends for advice, and discussing options is fun because I get different perspectives on what looks good.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then explain clearly with linking words. Correct pronoun errors and be specific about what you wear on weekends compared with weekdays. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I wear different styles on weekdays and weekends. During weekdays I wear my school uniform, but on weekends I prefer my own style, such as skirts and casual tops that reflect my personality.

提案: Start with a clear statement of preferred colours, use correct grammar, and explain reasons succinctly with linking words. Give specific examples of outfits or combinations to illustrate your preference.

例: I prefer neutral colours like white and grey rather than bright colours because they are easy to match. For example, I often wear a white blouse with grey trousers because the combination always looks neat and simple.

× But after I came to here, I can't see nowhere, I can't see anyone's wearing short skirts.

✓ But after I came here, I couldn't see anywhere; I didn't see anyone wearing short skirts.

Use of prepositions and negatives: 'came to here' is incorrect — say 'came here' or 'came to (place)'. Double negative 'can't see nowhere' should be avoided; use 'couldn't see anywhere' or 'didn't see anyone'. Also 'anyone's wearing' is informal and contracted incorrectly; use 'anyone wearing'. Tense changed to past 'couldn't/didn't' to match 'after I came'.

× So first time it was a bit embarrassed, but that is my personality.

✓ At first I was a bit embarrassed, but that's just the way I am.

Word choice and sentence structure: 'first time' should be 'At first' and 'it was a bit embarrassed' is incorrect because people feel embarrassed, not 'it'. Use 'I was a bit embarrassed'. 'But that is my personality' is better as 'that's just the way I am' for naturalness.

× I used to prefer more smart grass when I'm in Japan cause in Japan the like sense of crust is really important to depends on the people.

✓ I used to prefer smarter clothes when I was in Japan because in Japan a sense of style is really important and depends on the people.

Incorrect word choice and grammatical forms: 'smart grass' is likely 'smart clothes'. 'When I'm in Japan' should be past 'when I was in Japan' since 'used to' indicates past habits. 'Cause' should be 'because'. 'The like sense of crust' is unclear; use 'a sense of style'. 'To depends' should be 'depends' and restructure the clause.

× But after came to Christchurch many people just wear some jersey so it's more comfortable to spending.

✓ But after I came to Christchurch, many people just wear jerseys, so it's more comfortable for them.

Missing subject: 'after came to Christchurch' needs 'I'. 'Jersey' should be plural 'jerseys' or 'casual clothes'. 'It's more comfortable to spending' is incorrect; use 'it's more comfortable' or 'more comfortable for them'. Remove gerund 'spending'.

× Honestly not 'cause it's it's too simple.

✓ Honestly, no, because it's too simple.

Use of adverb/adverbial and contractions: 'Honestly not' is awkward; say 'Honestly, no'. 'Cause' should be 'because' in formal correction. Duplicate 'it's it's' is a repetition error.

× I want to get more like frill or Levon or something.

✓ I want to wear clothes with frills or ruffles or something.

Preposition and word choice: 'get more like frill' is ungrammatical. Use 'wear clothes with frills' or 'I prefer frilly styles'. 'Levon' is unclear; possibly 'ruffles' — clarified to 'ruffles'.

× So I'm not used to wear T-shirts.

✓ So I'm not used to wearing T-shirts.

Use of 'used to' structure: After 'used to' when indicating habit versus 'be used to' meaning accustomed, follow with a noun or gerund. 'Be used to wearing' is correct; 'to wear' is incorrect here.

× I just wear the T-shirts on us like for my ho house house cloth, like for PJS.

✓ I just wear T-shirts at home as house clothes, like for pajamas.

Preposition and word choice: 'on us' is incorrect; use 'at home'. 'Ho house house cloth' seems to mean 'house clothes'. 'PJS' is informal; 'pajamas' is clearer.

× Obviously, yes, every time I can't choose by myself 'cause I'm not good at decision.

✓ Obviously, yes, I can't choose by myself because I'm not good at making decisions.

Incorrect noun/verb forms and pronouns: 'not good at decision' should be 'not good at making decisions'. 'Every time' redundant; simplified. 'By myself' is acceptable.

× So every time I'm asking to my mom, and now I'm living without my mom, so I'm asking to my horses, the rich girl.

✓ So I always ask my mom, but now I'm living away from her, so I ask my friends, the wealthy girl.

Incorrect verbs and nouns: 'I'm asking to my mom' should be 'I ask my mom' or 'I used to ask my mom'. 'Living without my mom' is better 'living away from her'. 'Asking to my horses' is wrong — likely 'friends' or 'housemates'; clarified to 'friends'.

× Should I choose them like that?

✓ Should I choose clothes like that?

Missing object: 'Should I choose them like that?' is unclear; specify 'clothes' for clarity. Otherwise structure is okay.

× But it is really fun 'cause we can just, we can get the opposite perspective.

✓ But it's really fun because we can get different perspectives.

Redundancy and word choice: 'we can just, we can get the opposite perspective' is repetitive and slightly awkward. 'Different perspectives' or 'opposite perspectives' is clearer.

× That is, or so differently, yes, 'cause on weekday I'm a student so I'm wearing uniform every day.

✓ Yes, it's different because on weekdays I'm a student, so I wear a uniform every day.

Preposition and pluralization: 'on weekday' should be 'on weekdays' or 'during the week'. 'I'm wearing uniform' should be 'I wear a uniform' for habitual action.

× I love my uniform, but that is not her personality.

✓ I love my uniform, but that style does not reflect my personality.

Incorrect pronoun 'her' used instead of 'my' or wrong referent. Clarify meaning: 'that is not her personality' likely meant 'it does not reflect my personality'.

× So I prefer to getting, uh, weekends on my style.

✓ So I prefer to dress in my own style on weekends.

Verb pattern: 'prefer to getting' is incorrect. Use 'prefer to + base verb' (prefer to dress) or 'prefer getting' (gerund). Reordered for clarity: 'on weekends' at end.

× Umm, I'm not wearing like bright color.

✓ Umm, I don't wear bright colors.

Incorrect tense and preposition: 'I'm not wearing like bright color' should be habitual present 'I don't wear bright colors'. 'Bright color' pluralized.

× I wearing bright white and Gray 'cause it's, it is like not, not too bad to connect, you know, like if I get that I don't need to take a worse or like weird.

✓ I wear bright whites and grays because they are easy to coordinate; if I wear those I don't need to worry about clashing or looking strange.

Multiple errors: 'I wearing' needs 'I wear'. Color words: 'bright white and Gray' -> 'whites and grays' or 'white and gray'. 'Not too bad to connect' should be 'easy to coordinate'. 'Take a worse' unclear; replaced with 'worry about clashing' for meaning. 'Like weird' -> 'looking strange'.