Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct verb forms (e.g., 'headphones', 'calls', 'doing' → 'doing' should be 'doing' with structure fixed) and reduce redundancy like repeating the same idea about tired muscles.

例: Yes, I use headphones every day. I wear them because I make many long calls and do 45-minute assessments, so they free my hands and prevent neck and arm strain.

提案: Give a clear opening statement about the type, avoid filler words, correct plural and possessive forms, and provide a brief reason using a linking word. Mention the brand only if relevant and finish the sentence properly.

例: I mainly use wireless headphones from a brand called Jabronic. I prefer wireless ones because they are tangle-free, and I often choose white since it matches many of my outfits.

提案: Structure the reply with a topic sentence, then two specific occasions linked with 'for example' or 'also'. Fix grammar (e.g., 'I really don't want', 'muscles') and avoid repeating the same reason. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually wear headphones during long tasks. For example, I use them for initial dietary assessments that last over 45 minutes to avoid arm and neck strain, and I also wear them when talking to my talkative sister so I can hear her clearly.

提案: Answer directly, use numbering or linking words correctly, and be specific. Correct small grammar issues and tighten phrasing (e.g., 'listen to something', 'on the road', 'appear rude'). Keep it natural and concise with up to three reasons.

例: I avoid headphones in a few situations. For example, I never wear them while cooking because they could distract me; I also avoid them on the road for safety, and I take them off when speaking to someone so I don't seem rude.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific pros and one realistic con using correct vocabulary. Remove unclear or incorrect phrases ('fractionated breasts', unclear clause about speaker). Use linking words like 'however' and 'for example'.

例: Yes, I find headphones comfortable because they free my hands and reduce neck and arm strain. However, if I wear them for more than three or four hours my ears can get sore, so I try to take regular short breaks.

× Without a doubt I use my headphone everyday.

✓ Without a doubt I use my headphones every day.

The noun should be plural 'headphones' because most headphone devices have two earpieces. 'Every day' is two words when meaning 'each day'. Use plural to match the item and correct spacing for the adverbial phrase. Suggestion: Use 'headphones' and 'every day' in future sentences.

× I have huge collection of headphone, moreover of uh, wireless headphone of Jabronic company, and these are all wireless.

✓ I have a huge collection of headphones, mostly wireless headphones from Jabronic, and they are all wireless.

'Collection' requires the article 'a'. Use plural 'headphones' for multiple items. Use 'mostly' instead of 'moreover of uh' to express that most are wireless. Simplify redundant 'and these are all wireless' to 'they are all wireless'. Suggestion: Include articles with singular countable nouns and use plural for multiple items.

× I really don't want to mess with untangling the wires all the time.

✓ I really don't want to mess with untangling wires all the time.

Plural 'wires' is fine; removing 'the' sounds more natural when talking about wires in general. This is a minor article/noun collocation adjustment. Suggestion: Use 'untangling wires' for general reference.

× I prefer white colored headphone because it's match with my dresses that I usually wear in my.

✓ I prefer white headphones because they match my clothes that I usually wear.

Use plural 'headphones' and 'they' as the pronoun. 'Match with' is incorrect here; use 'match' without 'with'. 'Dresses' can be generalized to 'clothes' and remove the incomplete prepositional phrase 'in my'. Suggestion: Use 'match' directly and complete noun phrases.

× I have to make countless call and doing longer assessments especially for 45 minutes.

✓ I have to make countless calls and do long assessments, especially those that last 45 minutes.

Parallel structure requires verbs in the same base form after 'have to': 'make' and 'do'. Use plural 'calls'. 'Doing' should be 'do'. Clarify 'longer assessments' to 'long assessments' and specify duration with 'last'. Suggestion: Keep parallel verb forms and correct plural nouns.

× So I really don't want to exhaust my muscles by holding phone in my hand and talking to someone for longer hours.

✓ So I really don't want to tire my muscles by holding the phone in my hand and talking to someone for long periods.

'Exhaust my muscles' is awkward; 'tire my muscles' or 'strain my muscles' is more natural. Use 'the phone' for a specific object and 'for long periods' instead of 'for longer hours'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'tire/strain my muscles' and 'long periods'.

× I really want don't want to exhaust my muscle by holding phone for longer hours in my hand.

✓ I really don't want to exhaust my muscles by holding the phone for long periods in my hand.

The original has incorrect word order 'want don't'. Correct order is 'don't want'. Use plural 'muscles', 'the phone', and 'long periods' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Place 'do/does not' before the main verb and keep nouns plural when appropriate.

× I have huge collection of headphone, moreover of uh, wireless headphone of Jabronic company, and these are all wireless.

✓ I have a huge collection of headphones, mostly wireless headphones from Jabronic, and they are all wireless.

Duplicate of earlier; ensured article 'a' and plural 'headphones' for collections. Remove redundancy. Suggestion: See prior suggestion.

× Most of the time when I'm doing initial dietary assessments because these assessments really take, uh, more than 45 minutes.

✓ Most of the time I do initial dietary assessments because these assessments really take more than 45 minutes.

Avoid incomplete clauses: 'when I'm doing' can be simplified to 'I do' to match 'most of the time'. Remove filler 'uh' and place 'because' to explain duration. Suggestion: Use complete clauses and remove fillers in formal speech.

× in kitchen while I am cooking dishes, I really don't want to distract myself with listening something using headphone and secondly when I am on road to ensure my safety.

✓ in the kitchen while I am cooking, I really don't want to distract myself by listening to something using headphones, and secondly when I am on the road to ensure my safety.

Use 'the kitchen', 'by listening to something' (not 'with listening'), plural 'headphones', and 'on the road' with 'the'. Also remove 'dishes' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions 'in the kitchen', 'by listening to', and include articles where needed.

× I prefer using headphones or when I'm talking to my sister because she is very much talkative, I have to talk with her.

✓ I prefer using headphones, for example when I'm talking to my sister because she is very talkative and I have to talk a lot with her.

Fix sentence structure and pronoun reference: 'she is very much talkative' is incorrect; use 'very talkative'. Clarify 'I have to talk with her' to 'I have to talk a lot with her'. Suggestion: Use natural adjective forms and connect clauses properly.

× First and foremost, in kitchen while I am cooking dishes, I really don't want to distract myself with listening something using headphone and secondly when I am on road to ensure my safety.

✓ First and foremost, in the kitchen while I am cooking, I really don't want to distract myself by listening to something with headphones; secondly, I avoid them when I'm on the road to ensure my safety.

The original combined multiple ideas awkwardly. Add articles, correct prepositions 'by listening to', use 'with headphones', and split into clearer points. Use 'avoid them when I'm on the road' to express the second reason. Suggestion: Break complex sentences into clearer clauses and use correct prepositions.

× when I'm talking to somebody I really don't want to come up as a rude person talking to someone also.

✓ when I'm talking to somebody I don't want to come across as rude.

Use 'come across' not 'come up as', and avoid redundant 'person talking to someone also'. Keep it concise: 'come across as rude'. Suggestion: Use natural phrasal verbs and avoid redundancy.

× Is wearing headphones comfortable?

✓ Is wearing headphones comfortable?

This sentence is correct; no article change needed. 'Wearing headphones' is a general activity and the original is grammatical. Suggestion: No change.

× Definitely, headphones are much more comfortable than holding a phone because they free your hands and prevent neck and arm strain.

✓ Definitely, headphones are much more comfortable than holding a phone because they free your hands and prevent neck and arm strain.

This sentence is correct in grammar and number agreement. Suggestion: No change.

× However, using them for more than three and four hours can make your ears itchy and mainly risk of getting fractionated breasts to take regular breaks.

✓ However, using them for three to four hours or more can make your ears itchy and increases the risk of irritation, so take regular breaks.

'Three and four hours' is unnatural; use 'three to four hours'. 'Mainly risk of getting fractionated breasts' is incorrect and possibly nonsensical—replace with 'increases the risk of irritation'. Suggestion to 'take regular breaks' completes the recommendation. Suggestion: Use clear time ranges and replace unclear medical terms with appropriate phrases.

× And moreover, he had found with the uh speaker inside can.

✓ Moreover, I have found that the built-in speaker can also cause issues.

The original is ungrammatical and unclear. Clarify the subject ('I have found') and object ('the built-in speaker can also cause issues'). Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: Use a clear subject-verb-object structure and avoid fillers.