Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar and choose natural phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and wrong word forms (e.g., “publish it from Apple” is incorrect).

例: Yes, I use headphones regularly. I usually wear Apple AirPods when I’m out because they’re lightweight, and a Sony over-ear headset at home for better sound quality during work.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and one clear reason using correct vocabulary and grammar. Use linking words (e.g., "because" or "so") and avoid filler phrases like "that stuff."

例: I prefer small in-ear headphones, like Apple AirPods, because they’re compact and easy to store when I’m travelling.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and concise, specific supporting details. Correct verb tenses and remove repetition (e.g., "listen lecture online lectures"). Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I use headphones mainly to listen to music and to study English; for instance, I wear them in the library when I attend online lectures to avoid disturbing others.

提案: Clarify the main reason and fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “sweat” not “sweet”, and "not good for my ears" instead of "house"). Keep it concise and coherent with a topic sentence and one supporting detail.

例: I avoid using headphones in very hot weather because my ears get sweaty, which is uncomfortable and can make the earbuds unhygienic.

提案: Start with a direct opinion and give one or two specific reasons. Use correct vocabulary ("headphones" not "head paths") and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" to explain why.

例: Yes, I find headphones comfortable, and many people rely on them during travel because they block noise and make commuting more pleasant.

× Yes I do. I always use headphones such as Airpods publish it from Apple and also I use Sony headset at home. When I work around I use I usually use Airpods.

✓ Yes, I do. I always use headphones such as Apple's AirPods from Apple, and I also use a Sony headset at home. When I am working, I usually use my AirPods.

This sentence contains article errors and adjective/word choice issues (map to IDs 22 and 13). 'Airpods publish it from Apple' is incorrect phrasing; use the possessive form Apple's AirPods or 'AirPods from Apple'. 'Sony headset' needs an article 'a Sony headset'. 'When I work around I use I usually use Airpods' has word order and repetition problems; correct to 'When I am working, I usually use my AirPods.' Suggestion: use correct brand capitalization and possessive form, include appropriate articles, and simplify redundant phrases.

× I usually like using small headphones such as Apples Airpods or earphones because it is easy to keep and and manage that stuff.

✓ I usually like using small headphones such as Apple's AirPods or earphones because they are easy to store and manage.

This maps to Incorrect use of pronouns (ID 12) and Article errors (ID 22). 'Apples Airpods' needs the possessive 'Apple's AirPods'. 'it is easy to keep and and manage that stuff' uses singular pronoun 'it' for plural 'headphones' and repeats 'and'. Better to use 'they are' and replace vague 'keep and manage that stuff' with 'store and manage'. Suggestion: match pronouns to plural nouns and use clearer verbs.

× I usually use my headphones when I listen to music or study English because I have to listen lecture online lectures. So I used my headphones at library.

✓ I usually use my headphones when I listen to music or study English because I have to listen to online lectures. So I use my headphones in the library.

This involves Present tense issue (ID 6) and Past tense issue (ID 5) and verb form problems. 'listen lecture online lectures' is incorrect word order and missing 'to': 'listen to online lectures.' 'So I used my headphones at library' incorrectly uses past tense 'used' and misses the article 'the' before 'library'; maintain present tense 'use' to match 'usually'. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense for habitual actions, include 'to' after 'listen', and use 'the library' for a specific place.

× These days I try to not use my headphones because the weather is very hot, so when I use my Airpods my ear is wet by my sweet. It's not good for my house.

✓ These days I try not to use my headphones because the weather is very hot, so when I use my AirPods my ears get sweaty. It's not good for my health.

This includes Modal verb usage (ID 4) and Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and pronouns (IDs 13 and 12). 'try to not use' is awkward; 'try not to use' is preferred. 'my ear is wet by my sweet' has multiple errors: 'ear' should be plural 'ears' (pronoun/noun number), 'wet by my sweet' should be 'sweaty' or 'get sweaty' and 'sweet' is the wrong word. 'It's not good for my house' is likely intended as 'health'. Suggestion: use natural modal structures, correct body-part number, and choose correct adjectives like 'sweaty' and correct noun 'health'.

× Actually, it's very comfortable and these days it's necessary for many people. Many people usually use head paths when they use transport such as subway stations or buses. Sub.

✓ Actually, they're very comfortable and these days they're necessary for many people. Many people usually use headphones when they travel on public transport such as the subway or buses.

This involves Singular and plural issue (ID 1) and Incorrect use of adjectives/word choice (ID 13). 'It's' referring to headphones should be plural 'they're' or rephrase. 'head paths' is a wrong word; correct is 'headphones'. 'use transport' is better as 'travel on public transport' and use 'the subway' for a specific system. Suggestion: ensure pronoun number matches the noun, use correct vocabulary ('headphones'), and use natural collocations like 'travel on public transport.'