Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetitions, and use correct verb forms (e.g., 'I like' rather than 'I really like to'). Provide one brief reason and an example. Use linking words if giving additional detail.

例: Yes, I often use headphones. I usually wear Bluetooth ones because they are comfortable and wireless, which makes them convenient when I’m commuting or studying.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: name the type, then give one specific reason with a short example. Reduce hesitations and correct phrasing (e.g., 'noise-cancelling' and 'helps me concentrate'). Use a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I mainly use Bluetooth, noise-cancelling headphones because they block out background noise, so I can concentrate better when I study or attend online classes.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence saying when you use them, then add one or two specific situations with linking words. Avoid repetition and fix word choice ('often' not 'most oftenly').

例: I use headphones most of the time when I listen to music and during online classes. For example, I put them on in the evenings to relax with music and during lectures to hear the teacher clearly.

提案: This answer is clear and relevant but can be more concise and grammatical. Start with a direct statement, then give a reason and a brief example. Use proper tense and reduce fillers.

例: I avoid wearing headphones while crossing busy streets because they can block important traffic sounds. For instance, I always remove them before walking across intersections to stay aware of vehicles.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with one or two specific reasons. Correct grammar (e.g., 'makes them more comfortable' and 'Bluetooth headphones are convenient'). Mention a contrasting point briefly if relevant.

例: Yes, I find headphones comfortable, especially Bluetooth models, because they are lightweight and wireless. However, wired headphones can be safer in crowded places since you’re less likely to lose connection.

× Well, yes, I'm the kind of a person who really like to wear headphones.

✓ Well, yes, I'm the kind of person who really likes to wear headphones.

Remove the unnecessary article 'a' after 'kind of'. Use 'likes' because the subject 'the kind of person who' is singular and requires third-person singular verb form. Suggestion: say 'the kind of person who likes'.

× I mostly wear Bluetooth, uh, headphones.

✓ I mostly wear Bluetooth headphones.

This sentence is acceptable after removing filler; no verb change needed. Keep simple present 'wear' for habitual action. Suggestion: omit the comma and filler for clarity.

× It's really comfortable for me, so I mostly like to view your headphones.

✓ They're really comfortable for me, so I mostly like to use Bluetooth headphones.

Use plural pronoun 'they' for 'headphones'. 'View your headphones' is incorrect; likely meant 'use headphones'. Also maintain consistency by specifying 'Bluetooth headphones'.

× It's kind of uh, happiness to me.

✓ They make me happy.

'It's kind of happiness to me' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use a clear subject and verb: 'They make me happy' or 'Wearing them makes me happy.'

× Like I said before, I mostly use Bluetooth headphones because it, which is more convenient and also, umm, it's noise cancellation facilities also help me a lot to concentrate to it.

✓ Like I said before, I mostly use Bluetooth headphones because they are more convenient and their noise-cancellation features help me concentrate.

Use plural pronoun 'they' for 'headphones'. 'Noise cancellation facilities' is unnatural; use 'noise-cancellation features'. Remove redundant 'to' after 'concentrate'.

× So it's really, umm, help me a lot uh, for my studies and uh, and for some other uh.

✓ So they really help me a lot with my studies and other things.

Use 'they' to refer to headphones and plural verb 'help'. Use preposition 'with' for 'help with my studies'. Avoid vague trailing words.

× I use this headphones most oftenly because, uh, I'm I'm the person, I'm a person who really like to listen to music.

✓ I use these headphones most often because I'm a person who really likes to listen to music.

Use plural demonstrative 'these' with 'headphones' and correct adverb 'most often'. Remove duplicate 'I'm'. Use 'likes' for third-person singular agreement with 'a person who'.

× We are headphone so and also for my study purpose for some, for some online classes also I use this headphones.

✓ I use headphones for studying and for some online classes as well.

Original has pronoun and article errors and awkward structure. 'We are headphone' is incorrect; change to 'I use headphones'. Use plural 'headphones' without 'this'. Use 'for studying' or 'for my studies'.

× Uh, it's, uh, it's helps me a lot. Uh, it helped me a lot.

✓ They help me a lot. They have helped me a lot.

Use 'they' for headphones and correct verbs: present 'help' for habitual action and present perfect 'have helped' for past effect continuing now. Do not combine 'it's' with 'helps'.

× I think I didn't use this headphone during, uh, while I'm crossing a road.

✓ I think I don't use headphones while crossing the road.

Use present simple 'don't use' for habitual safety behavior. Use plural 'headphones' and 'crossing the road' is the idiomatic phrase. Alternatively past: 'I didn't use headphones while I was crossing the road.'

× It's really dangerous because I uh, I saw several uh, people wearing headphones randomly walk to the, uh, worked in a busy Rd.

✓ It's really dangerous because I have seen several people wearing headphones walking randomly in busy roads.

Use present perfect 'have seen' for experience; 'walking randomly in busy roads' is clearer than 'walk to the, worked in a busy Rd'. Use plural 'roads' or 'a busy road'.

× It's really dangerous because it may, umm, it may lead to a, a dangerous accident or something.

✓ It's really dangerous because it may lead to a serious accident.

Remove redundant 'it may' and 'a, a' stutter. 'Serious accident' is more natural than 'dangerous accident or something.'

× Well, I think uh wearing headphone is uh really comfortable, it's make them more comfort, comfortable and convenient uh uh, especially the Bluetooth headphones is really con uh, convenient to them uh, apart from the wired headphones uh, besides that, there are some dangerous uh situation.

✓ Well, I think wearing headphones is really comfortable; they make listening more comfortable and convenient, especially Bluetooth headphones. Apart from wired headphones, there are some dangerous situations.

Use plural 'headphones' and plural pronoun 'they'. Use 'make' to agree with plural subject. Use 'Bluetooth headphones' as plural and 'are' with 'situations'. Simplify and correct word order: 'more comfortable and convenient' and 'apart from wired headphones'.